There seems to be nothing James Franco hasn't, um, tried his hand at. And yes, that includes making a homemade sex tape (but no, it's not gonna leak anytime soon...sorry, pervs).
However, the nation's most famous overachiever revealed on Conan last night that he didn't exactly rise to the occasion of his amateur production...
"I actually am very interested in pornography," Franco, who's actually in the middle of filming a documentary about the porn industry began, to much audience tittering.
"As am I," Conan O'Brien interjected before allowing his guest to fully answer the question as to whether or not he had made a skin flick.
"When I was young, it's not like I went down to Van Nuys and tried to break into the porn industry—I just got a video camera and my girlfriend and I decided to film ourselves and watched it back and said, 'Yeah, well, let's never watch that again,' " Franco said.
So what went wrong? Other than James' train of thought, we mean.
"I'll tell you what's wrong. Those people in the pornos, they are great performers. They're not just doing, they're selling it to an audience. And just like, you know, let's say my grandma can..." he trailed off, clearly realizing only then that he may have given the wrong impression as to what turn his thus far PG-rated anecdote was about to take.
Plus, the laughter-convulsing fit Conan threw in an attempt to stop the story probably threw him for just as much of a loop.
When everyone gained their composure, Franco continued—or at least, he tried to.
"What I was going to say is, just like my grandma can feel…feelings," he said, breaking into laughter once again, "and cry in her life if she's sad, it doesn't mean she's gonna be a great actor…the same thing with actors in pornography. They're performing so an audience can get turned on.
"So my girlfriend and I didn't know that. So it was just like, you know, weird movements. That's not sexy at all, that's, like, really boring."
Though not, obviously, in the retelling.