Jacko: I'm Not Wacko!

Blame bad editing if you think sleeping with kids, dangling your baby from a balcony and having multiple plastic surgeries is strange. Michael Jackson is just your average father who loves his children. At least that's what the former King of Pop would like you to think.

Jackson, 44, has spoken out against the "tawdry" British documentary airing on ABC Thursday night, claiming the program was deliberately produced and edited to cast him in a less than favorable light (again, ignore the inappropriate slumber parties, dangling baby and bizarre plastic surgeries).

"Today I feel more betrayed than perhaps ever before; that someone, who had got to know my children, my staff and me, whom I let into my heart and told the truth, could then sacrifice the trust I placed in him and produce this terrible and unfair program," Jackson said in a statement following the British broadcast of Living with Michael Jackson.

The show was watched by 14 million curious viewers on ITV Network on Monday night, which means that close to one in four Britons was glued to the tube as Jackson admitted that he had "slept in a bed with many children," a practice he calls "charming."

Other disturbing revelations in the documentary, which ABC reportedly bought for $5 million, include Jackson snatching his daughter Paris, placenta and all, immediately after she was born and rushing her home in a towel. He's also shown feeding his youngest child (nicknamed Blanket) through a veil. This is the same li'l Blanket Jackson dangled above crowds in Germany, a move the Gloved One defends: "He was responding...He was singing."

Jackson also reveals his love for shopping during a $6 million spree in Vegas and a predilection for Peter Pan statues, which are scattered around his Neverland Ranch.

The more serious bed-sharing confessions prompted camera-ready Los Angeles attorney Gloria Allred to ask that Child Welfare Services in Santa Barbara investigate Jackson's behavior around child guests at Neverland. (The New York Post reports that agency investigators have already set their VCRs.)

Jackson, who also reveals he shared a bed with Macaulay Culkin, has been dogged by controversy since a 1993 child-abuse investigation. While no charges were ever filed, Jackson's multimillion-dollar settlement with his 14-year-old accuser hurt the singer's kid-friendly image.

Again, the "Smooth Criminal" singer denies any allegations of bad behavior in his statement. "Everyone who knows me will know the truth which is that my children come first in my life and that I would never harm any child."

He was supported by his former wife and mother of his two eldest children, Debbie Rowe, who was reported as saying, "It breaks my heart that anyone could truly believe that Michael would do anything to harm or endanger our children." According to the documentary, Rowe no longer has any contact with the children.

Jackson is so ticked he's dispatched his lawyers to file formal complaints with two British TV watchdog groups over the documentary. In a petition lodged with the Independent Television Commission, Jackson claims the show insinuated he is guilty of inappropriate behavior with children. And Jackson says in a complaint to the Broadcasting Standards Commission that he was ambushed with the molestation questions--something he considered off limits.

The singer also says he wasn't allowed to preview the program before it aired, as promised.

If they side with Jackson, the two oversight groups can censure offending broadcasters.

But it's not all bad news for Jackson. Sales of Thriller rose 500 percent at HMV stores in England after the documentary aired. (Thriller has sold 26 million copies domestically since its 1982 release, while his last album Invincible proved not so unbeatable with only 2 million copies sold in the U.S.) In Britain, both Thriller and HIStory are back in the Top 100.

Meanwhile, American viewers will have a chance to judge for themselves when the show airs tonight at 8 p.m. The usually media-shy Jackson takes off his surgical mask, literally, during interviews with documentary journalist Martin Bashir, who followed the singer around the world for eight months.

The result is "sensationalized innuendo" accuses Jackson, with "two or three pieces of footage giving a wholly distorted picture of his behavior and conduct as a father."

Jackson asserts Bashir, a "salacious ratings chaser" per the Gloved One, of reneging on his promise not to air footage of his children--an allegation producer Grenada Television refutes.

Furthermore, Grenada defended its documentary filmmaker Bashir in a statement released to the BBC. "It's not surprising that a film about him, which is so open and revealing, draws some hostile reaction and comment about him. It's regrettable that Michael should feel devastated as a result of that but perhaps inevitable," said the production company.

Bashir, who describes Jacko as "disturbing," is best known for his 1995 interview with Princess Diana in which she copped to cheating on her less than princely hubby.