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Hollywood's Bestest Red Sox Fans
Jim Rogash/WirEImage.com
To paraphrase from Fever Pitch, I am one of God's most pathetic creatures: a Red Sox fan. This obsession, the religion, it permeates everything in my life; yes, even movie stuff. To this day, for example, I am convinced that Justin Timberlake could be a great actor because of a sketch he did on Saturday Night Live in which he played a Sox fan. Thus, yesterday—opening day—wasn't the holiday I wanted. It was just another devastating loss, and to the Kansas City Royals, for those of you who don't know (and don't care).
The good news is this was only the first game. The better news (and movie related, bing! Bing!) is that fireball fan Ben Affleck narrates a DVD called Red Sox Baby: Raising Tomorrow's Red Sox Fan Today that goes on sale Apr. 17. I'm so buying that for my nephew. It's a guide on how to brainwash your kid—so Masshole, so good.
Also, it's just the sort of noble, funny thing a fan of the Evil Empire (i.e. New York Yankees) would never do. Don't believe me? In the spirit of the new season, I'm gonna name my four favorite famous Sox fans.
1. Ben Affleck
Ben cares about the game. Bostonians rejoiced when he broke up with Bronx beauty Jennifer Lopez, because it meant we didn't have to have her negative energy in the house. He goes to tons of games. He converted Jennifer Garner. And he's been wearing his Sox paraphernalia long before we broke that curse.
2. Stephen King
The author of the ode to baseball that is The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon has thrown the ball on opening day. He's written a great book about my beloved Sox. Bonus: Cell, which is being adapted for the big screen by Eli Roth, is set in Boston and contains many Sox references that bettah be in the freakin' movie.
3. Mark Wahlberg
This quote says it all: "After 2004 (when the Red Sox won the World Series), I swore that I wasn't going to get sucked in again, but I can't help it. I'm watching those standings each day." Damn straight, Marky Mark.
4. The Farrelly Brothers
Two words: Fever Pitch. I cry every time I watch it. I love that it's a time capsule. I love that they called up local die-hard fans Jessamy Finet and Erin Nanstad (who simply rocked in the Sox documentary Still We Believe) instead of bringing in random L.A. girls hoping to spread their vocal wings.
Check back Thursday to see which notorious Yankees fans I'd like to...Well, this is a nice column. I won't get that violent and graphic here.
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