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Hizzoner, the Mayer of Fibbington

Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer AP Photo/Lisa Rose

With rumors spreading like wildfire, perhaps the best thing to do is spread some more...kinda like firemen setting a backfire to sap a blaze's energy. Maybe that's John Mayer's strategy, because he told the crowd at his St. Louis show last night:

"When I was a child I would kill small animals and wear their teeth as necklaces. True. Print that. And I've always felt deep down that I was born a woman."

On tour with Jennifer Aniston in tow, John set off on this goofy rumor jag after telling the amused multitudes that he enjoyed it when fans emailed him dubious tales from the tabloids. Some of the other felicitous fabrications, per People magazine, which John shared with the crowd:

He fears the color green. He weighed 400 pounds when he was 12. He wrote the lyrics to the Kenny Loggins hit "Danger Zone" at age 9. And he's "33 percent done" with building a time machine.

Nice going, John. With rumors this good, who needs reality?

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