Five Ways to Keep New Star Wars TV Show From Sucking

Some suggestions for George Lucas, who reveals he's got scripts written, but he's just waiting to figure things out both technically and financially before he starts production

When it comes to George Lucas' live-action Star Wars TV series, The Force is definitely a little weak right now.

Sure, the head Jedi may have revealed during a recent appearance on G4's Attack of the Show that he's got plenty of material written for his hopefully-sometime-in-our-lifetime small-screen program about a certain galaxy far, far away. But he also admitted he's still not ready to draw his proverbial light saber and attack it head-on.

"We have 50 hours and we're just waiting to figure out a different way of making movies, a different technology that we can use, that will make it economically feasible to shoot the show," Lucas said. "Right now it looks like the Stars Wars features, but we have to figure out a way of making it for about a tenth the cost of the features because it's television."

Well, George, while you continue to figure out what needs to be done on the technological/financial front, may we suggest the following to prevent this project from going the way of the planet Alderaan?

1. Absolutely No Singing: Yes, we know you've essentially disowned the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special that was cruelly unleashed on TV audiences all those years ago, but please, please don't be tempted to turn to that 1978 debacle now for inspiration simply in light of Glee's popularity.

2. More Boba Fett: Of course, that special did give geeks their first introduction to the cool, quiet bounty hunter and we've certainly been fans of his ever since. So, obviously, feel free to utilize Boba as much as possible. In fact, why not just build the whole freakin' thing around him?

3. More Han Solo: When the Millennium Falcon captain replied to Princess Leia's "I love you" with an "I know" just before getting turned into a piece of art for Jabba the Hutt's lair, we knew right then and there we would always long for more adventures involving our favorite space smuggler. 

4. Less Jar Jar: Actually, we take it back. Make that, no Jar Jar.

5. Ease up on the CGI: OK, this last one probably flies right in the face of what you've got planned, George. But, remember, there's a reason why A New Hope, with its now-dated special effects, still holds up even today.