FIRST LOOK: The News in Brief, September 25, 2006

CEASE AND DESIST: Star Jones Reynolds' attorney penning a letter to the National Enquirer demanding that the tabloid print a front-page retraction to an article in the Oct. 2 issue entitled "Star Jones' Husband Walks Out!" Lawyer Robert Chapman called the story's implications that the couple's marriage isn't a happy one "completely false." All he had to do was remind the Enquirer that the Reynolds' corporate-sponsored wedding was all too real.

MASKED MAN: Mel Gibson donning a mask and wig at an Oklahoma screening of his upcoming film Apocalypto Thursday to slip unnoticed past the press, according to the venue's spokesperson. Of course, a shower and shave may have made him equally unrecognizable.

ALL OPRAH, ALL THE TIME: Oprah Winfrey launching her new XM Satellite Radio channel, Oprah & Friends, today with The Oprah & Gayle Show, featuring BFF Gayle King. First day's topic: Why being best friends, taking an 11-day road trip and cohosting a radio show together doesn't make you gay.

WINFREY 2008: Meanwhile, Oprah's lawyers demanding a retired Missouri math teacher stop campaigning for Winfrey to run for president in 2008. Winfrey herself is "flattered" and says her attorneys "overreacted" by ordering Crowe to remove her name and image from his Website...and takes away from the Stewart/Colbert ticket.

PARTY OVER: Aaron Carter breaking off his engagement to fiancée of six days, 22-year-old actress Kari Ann Peniche. The 18-year-old singer told Ryan Seacrest he "acted on impulse" when he proposed to his girlfriend of five days. On the downside, it looks like Kimberly Stewart and Talan Torriero's record has been broken. The upside is the Days of Our Lives writers just got handed their next storyline.

AND KEEP AWAY: A Los Angeles judge has extended Colin Farrell's stay-away order against Dessarae Bradford, the woman who bumrushed the actor's Tonight Show appearance, until August 2009, or until Farrell has a box office hit. Safe bet's on the court date coming first.

DISAPPEARING ACT: Emma Watson expressing doubt at returning for the final two films in the Harry Potter franchise, telling Newsweek, "I don't know yet. Every film is such a huge production, and it's a long time... Maybe that sounds ungrateful. I've been given such an amazing opportunity, but I'll just have to go with the flow." So long as that flow leads her back to the final two films.

NUMBER TWO WITH A BULLET: Jackass: Number Two racking up $28.1 million to nab the top spot over the weekend, proving that crotch shots and little people will always equal box office gold.

NO MORE BUMPWATCH: Marcia Cross disputing the original claim that her real life pregnancy would be written into Desperate Housewives, telling Regis and Kelly that her character, Bree, would not be with child this season. She will, however, be carrying lots of pillows for no apparent reason.

PAGING DR. ACULA: Scrubs star Judy Reyes released from a Los Angeles hospital Monday after undergoing surgery to repair a fractured pelvis, stemming from a fall at her home last week. The actress will likely take six weeks to fully recover at which time she'll be readmitted to Sacred Heart.

COMING CLEAN: Steven Tyler admitting he was diagnosed with hepatitis C three years ago, but telling Access Hollywood that after a year of interferon treatment, "which almost killed" him, the disease is "nonexistent in [his] bloodstream, where it's like a complete cure." At least now Pamela Anderson has someone to attend the meetings with.

TAKE A BOW: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Jai Rodriguez and Cheech Marin voted off the penultimate episode of Celebrity Duets Friday, surprising music fans who had no idea the show existed.

RIP: The body of Anna Nicole Smith's son, Daniel, remaining at a funeral home in the Bahamas more than two weeks after his sudden death. Family friends have told the Associated Press he'll likely be buried on the islands.

A-COURTING THEY WILL GO: A New York judge has thrown out David Gest's $10 million civil assault lawsuit filed against his estranged wife Liza Minnelli. Gest claimed wifey beat him to the point of hospitalization during alcoholic rages and that he suffered severe headaches as a result. The judge dismissed the claim after a doctor testified that a strain of herpes, not beatings, caused the pain. This has got to be humiliating on so many levels.

BEAUTIFUL DAY: Green Day and U2 set to kick off NFL Monday Night Football at the Superdome tonight, marking the first time the arena will be used since housing refugees from Hurricane Katrina.

BOOK 'EM, BONO: Meanwhile, U2 selecting 250 fans via online lottery to attend a book signing in Dublin with Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen for the rockers' coffee-table book, U2byU2. Spaces between words is so not rock 'n' roll.

CLAWS ARE OUT: David Hasselhoff's 14-year-old daughter, Hayley, taken to a Los Angeles hospital Sunday night after she was severely scratched by the family cat. Hasselhoff called 911 and his daughter has since been treated and released.

LET HIM BE: Paul McCartney saying he's "doing fine" despite the intense media interest in his impending divorce from Heather Mills McCartney. The singer also said at a press conference that the death of his first wife, Linda, from breast cancer in 1998 "stalled" him and forced him to take "a year or so off before [he] could get back into it."

SULU RETURNS: George Takei agreeing to reprise his role of Sulu for a 50-minute one-off episode of Star Trek produced by fans. "World Enough and Time" features Sulu finding himself aged 30 years on an alien planet when only a few minutes have passed on the Enterprise. To non-Trekkers, however, it will feel like a lifetime.

HONORED: Julie Andrews tapped to receive the Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award Jan. 28.

WILTING: Prince Lorenzo Borghese tapped to dole out the roses when The Bachelor: Rome premieres Oct. 2 on ABC, giving 25 love-hungry women the opportunity to become something they've always dreamed of: the punch line of a weekly clip show. Oh, and princesses.

KEEPIN' THE FAITH: George Michael kicking off his first concert tour in more than 15 years in Barcelona Saturday. We hope Elton John sent some congratulatory minimuffins.

ITCHY & SCRATCHY SHOW: Eric Clapton postponing a Michigan concert Saturday night due to a sore throat. The rocker's 22-date tour resumes next Sunday in Toronto.

THIRD TIME'S A CHARM: MTV launching yet another cable channel today, MTV Tr3s, with music and programming aimed at the Latino community. As evidenced by the much-anglicized use of the word "tres."

GIVE IT A CHANCE: Yusuf Islam, the singer formerly known as Cat Stevens, speaking out against Pope Benedict XVI's comments on Islam that called Muhammad "evil and inhuman." Sounds like someone needs to hop aboard the peace train.

LITTLE BIT COUNTRY: James McMurtry's Childish Things taking home album and song of the year honors at the Americana Honors and Awards Friday. Neil Young was named artist of the year at the ceremony honoring less mainstream country music.