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FIRST LOOK: The News in Brief, August 21, 2006

SAY WHAT?! "I just want to start off by saying, 'Awkward--a little bit.' "
--Nick Lachey, accepting his award for Choice Love Song at the Teen Choice Awards, which were hosted by his ex-wife, Jessica Simpson

LUCKY STAR: German prosecutors declining to open an investigation into Madonna's mock crucifixion scene at her concerts, after finding there was no indication the controversial singer had committed a criminal offense. Memo to officials in the remaining cities on the tour: Yes, she fake-crucifies herself. Others have also been offended. She's going to do it anyway, so just deal with it.

EARLY BIRD: No more sleeping in for Chris Cuomo, who will be joining Good Morning America as a coanchor alongside Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts beginning Sept. 5.

TASTY TIE-IN: Attention Lost fanatics: ABC, er, the Hanso Foundation, that is, handing out free samples of the Apollo Bar, the candy bar of choice on Mystery Island, in cities including Los Angeles, New York and Chicago through the month of September. For more info, visit apollocandy.com.

BADA BLING! James Gandolfini signing a three-year exclusive producing deal with HBO, the cable net announced Monday.

SMALLER SCREEN: Fox Digital Media announcing the launch of Fox On Demand on the Websites of nine affiliate stations, marking the first time local stations will stream network programming on their own sites.

VIVA LA BUSTED: Bam Margera's uncle, Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, arrested in Colorado and held without bond on a charge of sexual assault on a child. Meanwhile, MTV busily editing him out of all episodes of Viva La Bam, or so we'd assume.

ALL HISS, NO BITE: Snakes on a Plane slithering into first place with tickets sales of $15.3 million, opening far below studio expectations. All that motherf--king hype for that kind of motherf--king opening?

ROAD RAGE: Busta Rhymes arraigned on an assault charge Sunday, after he reportedly attacked a man for spitting on his car. The rapper's lawyer claiming the arrest was retaliation by the NYPD, who have wanted to interview Rhymes since the February shooting death of one of his bodyguards.

MAKING SCENTS: David and Victoria Beckham unveiling a his-and-her fragrance line dubbed Intimately Beckham for Him and Intimately Beckham for Her. We hear it reeks of desperation.

GOING TO THE CHAPEL: Scrubs star John C. McGinley popping the question to his girlfriend, yoga teacher Nicole Kessler, People reports.

THEM TOO: Brooke Burke and David Charvet, who are expecting a child together, also getting engaged, People reports.

WINNER'S CIRCLE: Cloris Leachman accepting her eighth Emmy Award at the Creative Arts Emmys on Saturday, setting a record for female performers.

KUDOS: Antonio Banderas and America Ferrera among the honorees at the 21st Annual Imagen Awards, which recognize positive portrayal of Latinos in all media.

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