Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

Somebody send a warning to J.Lo: Looks like she has some serious competition coming in from the rear.

This onetime high-fashion über-hottie is not generally known for her backseat assets, but rather her steamy relationship with a hot prime-time TV actor as well as her own big-screen work with Quentin Tarantino and Nicolas Cage. But now we can add another credit to the 35-year-old's profile: sneaky stealth ninja booty queen!

So, any guesses about who wore this glittering, rose-gold, disco ball of a Vivienne Westwood to the Amour premiere during the Cannes Film Festival this week?

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Andreas Branch/PatrickMcMullan.com/Sipa USA

In case you're not following every little trend of 2012, starlets are all about white crochet clothes right now.

The trick: Making people think the garment is naughty and see-through when it's actually not.

Observe Jessica Simpson's little sis, Ashlee Simpson, at the "An Evening With Women" event in Beverly Hills—she wore a 60s-inspired white shift dress that played off of her Twiggy-style blond bob, open-toed wedges and oversized clutch bag...

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WENN.com; Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Older sister, Princess envy, anyone?

Poor Pippa Middleton. It's not easy to be the younger sister to the Duchess of Cambridge and have everything come up Kate, Kate, Kate all the time. When will it be Pippa's turn to shine? When?!

Apparently that time is now, because over the weekend the 28-year-old copy-Kate wore this raspberry Issa silk wrap dress, matching floral hat, black clutch and suede pumps to a wedding in Scotland.

Look awfully familiar to anyone?

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NIVIERE/VILLARD/SIPA

We know exactly what you're thinking: Where did Salma Hayek-Pinault get that awesome clutch bag? Well, here at Fashion Police we can read your mind, girl, and we're here to tell you that it's...

Oh, please, we're less than three sentences in and already this farce has gone on long enough!

Just. Look. At. Those. Knockers.

The 45-year-old actress relived her racy telenovela days with over-the-top eye makeup and a bra-popping, trumpet-style gown during the Madagascar 3 premiere at Cannes. According to designer Gucci, the brown dress has a beaded bodice and chiffon skirt...

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Twitter/Kardashian Kollection

How's this for a reminder?

Just in case anyone had forgotten (and really, who did?) that Keeping Up With the Kardashians was back for whole new season last night, Kim Kardashian took it upon herself to post the above pic to her blog of her and sisters Kourtney Kardashian and Khloé Kardashian Odom in some skimpy lingerie as a way of promoting the program.

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Frazer Harrison/Getty Images via ABC

You know that an awards show is getting dull when the organizers turn it into a masquerade ball. We hear Carrie Underwood dressed up as the Crab Nebula. Taylor Swift disguised herself as a girl who can write a song.

And Miley Cyrus came as a Real Housewife who just got dumped by her 23-year-old bartender boyfriend because she wouldn't support his dream of becoming a DJ. Now that is a costume.

On an older, more fried up version of herself, we might like the 19-year-old's Jacquie Aiche jewels, Christian Louboutin shoes and desperately short Jean Paul Gaultier creation...

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Stockpix/INFphoto.com

When it comes to wedding fashion, Pippa Middleton sure knows how to turn heads.

The 28-year-old party planner looked stunning in a tight-fitting, raspberry-hued Issa silk dress, paired with a matching fascinator and black pumps as she made her way to longtime friend Camilla Hook's wedding. Hook tied the knot with Sam Holland in East Lothian, Scotland, Saturday, according to the Daily Mail.

And if this dress looks familiar, your mind isn't playing tricks on you.

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Darla Khazei, PacificCoastNews.com

You can bet that if you see Eva Longoria wearing a skintight LBD—when is she not?—it's by her gal-pal Victoria Beckham.

The former Desperate Housewives star looked fierce as she stopped by David Letterman in New York wearing a stretch-crepe Spring 2012 dress designed by her BFF, Brian Atwood heels and a twisted updo. Now that Eva's left Wisteria Lane for good, don't think Joan Rivers didn't have something to say about it!

"Rumor has it that everyone hated Teri Hatcher but that's not so," the Fashion Police host joked. "I know an African American woman who worked on the set and who liked her so much, she baked Teri a chocolate pie."

Want more? You've come to the right place! Joan had cracks on Halle Berry's stage mom anger, Christie Brinkley's Lolita-esque look, Lady Gaga's rainbow weave and more!

Click to see all of Joan's jokes that didn't make it on air in our sassy sartorial photo gallery.

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Frank Micelotta/PictureGroup via AP IMAGES; Jordan Strauss/WireImage

What's the saying, great Latin minds think alike?

That appears to be the case with this orange-ribbon belted Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2012 gown!

Jennifer Lopez, that saucy minx, sported hers to the American Idol live results show yesterday afternoon. Our fave cougar was sans boy-toy Casper Smart but paired her look with Giuseppe Zanotti platforms, a Farrah Fawcett blowout and pretty gold hoops. She looked fresh and made those colors pop along with her gorgeous smile.

Meanwhile...

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Gareth Cattermole, Dave J Hogan, Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Talk about Gallic gall!

It's been three days since the 65th Cannes Film Festival teed off, and already the French fete has scored its fair share of whoppers, shockers and plain ol' showstoppers.

So who's been making waves at the seaside shindig?

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