The ESPYs: Footballers, B-Ballers and Topless Twosomes

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A couple of months ago, I saw more of Sunset Tan's Olly Girls than I wanted to. Molly and Holly showed up to Empress wearing booty shorts with nothing but paint covering their extremely perky breasts. At the time, I thought the restaurant had hired them as decorations for the night's opening, but clearly I was wrong. Tonight, the girls arrive at the Sports Dream Celebrity Poker Tournament at the Playboy Mansion in the same attire, except the red paint has been swapped for black and white to create the sluttiest tuxedo tops I've ever seen. Forget the bunnies, tonight the Olly Girls are the eye candy.

This pre-ESPY event benefits two charities: L.A. Stars, which was created by NBA players Paul Pierce and Baron Davis, and the Jordan Jackson Group Home, where NFLers Shannon Sharpe and Reggie Bush serve as ambassadors. Boston B-ball star Pierce talks with L.A. Clipper Corey Maggette, while the Denver Nuggets' Carmelo Anthony basks in the attention of adoring female companions. Though he's late, Reggie makes sure to stop by—unlike his former fling Kim Kardashian, who has surprisingly skipped the party to pack for her Miami vacay.

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Hugh Hefner and his girls Holly, Bridget and Kendra greet their guests but can't stay long. Every Tuesday the foursome has a standing dinner date and not even the crème of the crop in sports can make them reschedule. Though their whole Big Love relationship creeps me out sometimes, I must say this tradition is pretty darn cute.

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Cash Warren and Jessica Alba must still be having problems, as I reported at the Pink Taco opening, because Cash arrives sans his better half. Though I'd love to see Jess, I'm happy to divert my attention to Aubrey O'Day. The Danity Kane singer looks retro-delish in a flirty Betsey Johnson frock and Michael Kors shoes as she hangs out with a girlfriend and the Kansas City Chiefs' Priest Holmes. But what impresses more than her fashion sense is her intelligence. I'm floored by how charismatic Aubrey is, telling me about her recent trip to Cuba where she talked with Che Guevara's daughter. It's nice to have a blonde with brains at the bash.

While actress and Playboy model Katie Lohmann hangs around by the monkey cages, a very natural looking Jillian Grace gives guests a tour of the grounds. Miss March 2005 could really teach the Olly Girls a thing or two about doing au naturel correctly—although Kendra did win Hef over when she arrived at one his parties in her birthday suit and paint. So maybe the girls really do know what they’re doing.

But I've had enough boobs for the night, so it's time to hit the next sports soiree.