Diesel Drives onto Melrose Place

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RSVPs:  Kim Kardashian, Constantine Maroulis and Lindsay's boy-toy Calum Best
When:  May 30
Where:  Diesel Store, West Hollywood

Los Angeles store openings usually consist of well-dressed women and metrosexual men standing around for 20 minutes until they finish their bubbly. Some peruse the expensive goods, texting their stylists items they want for their wardrobe, while others check their watches to see if it’s too soon to leave. Tonight’s Celebration of Diesel’s West Coast Flagship Store is different. Melrose Place is blocked off to traffic and has opened the now Astroturf-covered street to Tinseltown’s trendiest. 

First, I check out the new store, where white-tuxedoed men are handing out corsages and boutonnieres. I don’t understand what prom has to do with this alfresco garden party, but white roses are a cute touch.

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High-Flying Design
The indoor space looks like an aerodynamic Italian workshop. Beautiful Italian wood covers half of the concrete floor, and pieces of airplane wings hang on the walls. Cockpit bits from a plane graveyard in Utah line the “denim gallery,” and racks of runway pieces are displayed next to entry doors made of 300-year-old wood from a castle in Italy. Diesel designer Renzo Rosso tells me he wanted to make to make his Los Angeles shop extraordinary. “This store is very special, because Los Angeles people, we want to be connected with them,” he says in a thick Italian accent. “Hollywood is very important for me, for every brand in the world, because [celebrities] can drive a brand. They can help you to be a bit more visible.”

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Hills Star Alive with the Styles of Music
Rosso is right. Outside, Hills cutie Audrina Patridge arrives decked out in a Diesel vest and skinny jeans. “I especially love their leather jackets,” she says, standing next to her man, Justin Brescia. “I even got Lauren to get a white one and a black one," she adds, referring to her Hills cohort. “I like edgy rocker stuff.” 

Guess she has one thing in common with fourth-season American Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis, who has been wearing Diesel jeans for more than 10 years. “I think at first it was because they were expensive, and I wanted to have an expensive pair of jeans—even though I was poor,” he tells me. “But they fit great, and I’ve been wearing them ever since. I think what Diesel captured was that rock ‘n’ roll chic,” a trait he uses to describe his own fashion sense. Like his clothing, Constantine says his new album, which drops Aug. 7, is “just good, blue-collar rock ‘n’ roll.”

Fashion Faux Pas and Lifestyle Fixes
But the brand doesn’t work for every celebrity. Hairspray honey Brittany Snow tells me she used to wear Diesel to events. “But the last time I wore Diesel jeans, I got Worst Dressed in the magazines!” she says. For Rosso's sake, hopefully it was a poor top choice from a different designer that got the blonde that dubious distinction.

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Unlike other young starlets, Snow has a good head on her shoulders and spends time with her boyfriend instead of getting blackout drunk at parties. Her advice for success? “Be willing to do whatever it takes.” Still, she wishes rehab rebounder Lindsay Lohan the best: “I really feel like maybe, hopefully, this is the time she’s going to want to get better for herself. I feel like you can’t get better and you can’t change your life unless you actually want to get better.”

Discomfort Food and the Greasy Bear Circus
On Brittany's note, I forgo a second Krol vodka martini and treat my sweet tooth to a frozen banana. The barbecue looks great, and the mac ‘n’ cheese smells buttery delish, but seeing skinny Diesel models posing on retro red wheels, I figure one guilty pleasure is enough for the night.

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Others have the same thought, apparently. Eric Balfour of 24 skips the food to chat up some girls, while Calum Best strolls the space (For more on Lindsay's man, check out Planet Gossip). Caroline D'Amore sips on a beer with BFF Kim Kardashian. I figure they’re about to head to the roped-off reserved couches in front of the mechanical bull, but instead they stay with the rest of us civilians. So, who gets special treatment? Brandon Davis. I cannot believe it when I see Greasy Bear himself sitting with a champagne bottle and a group of friends in the VIP area. Who would have thought he would get the best perks at any party? Someone must be buying a lot of Diesel jeans.

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Kardashian says a quick hello to her fellow socialite but doesn’t stay to watch him ride the bull. Paris must have been the glue that held them together, but she’s at home presumably prepping for the slammer. With all the biggest party girls in trouble, this bash isn’t crazy enough to keep moi. I follow Clifton Collins Jr. outside and leave—or rather, try to.

Scrambling with the Normal Folk
The valet has misplaced a bunch of keys, and the scene is mayhem. “Do you not see my Range Rover key with the pink diamond?” Kardashian asks. Clearly, they do not. Princess Kim squats to look for herself. The only time I think I’d see this girl on her knees in public is at the gym. I’m even more shocked when my car arrives before hers. No VIP seating or immediate valet? Her stock is slipping. Sounds like its time for a new sex tape.