Charles Barkley's Need for Speed Propelled by...Um...

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As cohost of TNT's NBA coverage, Charles Barkley is always ready with a salty quip. And he's still adept at giving a play-by-play when necessary.

Or, when totally unnecessary.

The portly former player, arrested on suspicion of DUI this morning, apparently got quite chummy with the Arizona cops who busted him, telling them in no uncertain terms why he was running a stop sign at 1:26 a.m.

"You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b--w j-b," Barkley told a Gilbert Police Department officer, according to his arrest report, which was obtained by the Smoking Gun.

In fact, he was planning an encore visit with a girl who the previous week gave him "the best one [he] had ever had in [his] life."

And who said chivalry was dead?

Drive safely, everybody.