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Cannes Report: Stars Heat Up France, We're Cool on Jolie

A Mighty Heart Paramount Vantage

Tomorrow, the beautiful (Brad Pitt), the political (Michael Moore) and the beautifully political (Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio) descend on Nice, France, for the 60th Annual Cannes Film Festival.  The parties are legendary, the champagne top drawer—and, oh yeah, as it turns out, they also show movies there. Neat, right?

Marianne Pearl Chris Kleponis/CNN/ZUMAPress.com

The flick everyone’s talking about is Moore’s health-care documentary, Sicko. But the one I’m obsessing over today is A Mighty Heart, a biopic about slain journalist Daniel Pearl and his dignified widow, Marianne Pearl.

Every time I see Angelina Jolie in a shot from A Mighty Heart, with her pin curls and her darkened skin, my skin crawls. It just seems wrong. Like, I want to ask Plan B Productions, Why wouldn't you hire someone who bears even the slightest natural resemblance?

Halle Berry Jonathan Alcorn/UPPA/ZUMAPress.com

Halle Berry could have rocked it as Marianne Pearl. If not, then you take on your white chick, and let her be. Somehow, a prosthetic nose is fine. A fat suit I can handle. But watching Ms. Holier and Sexier Than Thou and Me and Everyone We Know parade around in semi-blackface makes me think something is wrong with the world.

I am so in agreement with Vogue reader Cristina Migliaccio, whose letter ran in the magazine’s April issue: “The only thing I don’t get is why Angelina tries to perpetuate almost virginal awe and surprise at the circumstances of her very calculated life choices.”

Jennifer Aniston Paul Redmond/WireImage.com

So true. Angie is a smart chick. Taking on this part makes her seem like an angel, a champion of the world. If—and by "if," I mean "when"—she does that bashful, wide-eyed, Oh me? I’m just a mom...hee-hee thing on the Cannes circuit, I’m gonna raise my glass and toast Jennifer Aniston, hoping that this less sanctimonious girlfriend gets to play Mother Teresa someday.

I'll have more goings-on from Cannes throughout the fest's run. Stay tuned... 

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