Broadway's Poky "Cowboy"

Pamplona's got nothing on Broadway theater critics.

It was the running of the bull puns Friday as Great White Way reviewers scrambled for inventive ways to lambaste Urban Cowboy--the musical version of the hit 1980 movie about the love triangle between John Travolta, Debra Winger and an emasculating mechanical bull that opened Thursday night at the Broadhurst Theater.

A sampling: "Boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back--all this and a whole lot of mechanical bull"--Clive Barnes of the New York Post. "Corny musical is a load of bull"--headline to Howard Kissel's review in theNew York Daily News. "You might have thought there was enough mechanical bull on Broadway already. Apparently you'd be wrong"--Daily Variety's Charles Isherwood. "The bull-riding stuff is mostly hamburger"--Michael Somers of the Newark Star-Ledger. The New York Times' Ben Brantley, considered the make-or-break reviewer, steered clear of the bull jokes in favor of a straight-out slam, calling the show "a conclusive demonstration that it's possible to be vulgar and bland at the same time."

The closest thing to a rave came courtesy of the Post: "This ain't the greatest show Broadway has ever seen, but it's worth your time."

And that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. As the official kicker-offer of the spring season, plenty was riding on Urban Cowboy. Producers and Broadway boosters alike crossed their fingers that the $4.5 million musical--still set in Gilley's bar in late-'70s Houston and featuring a score that includes both new tunes and the hit movie songs "Lookin' for Love" and "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"--would help jumpstart a season battered by a debilitating strike by musicians and tourists scared off by terrorist warnings.

The latest in a line of Hollywood movies converted for the boards, Urban Cowboy had been hoping to make like The Producers and Hairspray, not Footloose or Saturday Night Fever, but the reviews could be a bad omen--especially since preview ticket sales for the musical (ranging from $66 nosebleeds to $96 orchestra seats) have been slow. Urban Cowboy lassoed just $165,000 last week, compared to $1 million-plus grosses for Hairspray and The Producers.

Urban Cowboy the musical had been dogged by trouble almost since the drawing board. Original director and cowriter Philip Oestermann died just as production was beginning last July, the strike shortened the number of previews, and there have been repeated problems with the aforementioned bucking bronco prop.

By the sounds of things, the bull still needs some work. A ferocious beast in the movie, the stage version is remarkable for its "tameness," according to the Times.

While the musical--and its robotic bovine--drew a near-collective thumbs down, the cast fared a bit better. Matt Cavenaugh and Jenn Colella picked up mostly solid notices for channeling Travolta's Bud and Winger's Sissy. "Cavenaugh makes a splendid Bud, whose charm is as impressive as his abs--and he can sing, too--while Colella is a zippy, feminist and sexy Sissy," opines the Post's Barnes. "Newcomers Matt Cavenaugh and Jenn Colella are very appealing," chimes in Kissel of the Daily News.

But the best reviews were reserved for vets Sally Mayes and Leo Burmester, as Bud's hard-ass aunt and uncle. "Especially strong," writes Kissel. Adds the Times' Brantley: "Ms. Mayes and Mr. Burmester, both seasoned pros, do what they can with the standard-issue roles of feisty old love birds. Everyone else is, in a word, forgettable."

There's one for the posters.