Britney's Flash Dance, Diddy's Kiddie Bling and Snoop's Canine Fashion Swing

Brit Pack Panty Raid:  Cameras weren't the only things flashing outside L.A.'s Hyde nightclub this week. The Web has been burning up with reports (and pictures!) of Britney Spears' bare naughty bits flashed as she got out of her car. How did the 'razzi game of Hyde and seek suddenly become show and tell? It's all a part of Britney's weeklong binge of bonding with Paris Hilton. And just about everywhere, there are the shots of Brit showing her stuff, along with tales of what wags are calling the Brit Pack—Lindsay, Britney and Paris, who were seen stuffed into the front seat of a car outside an L.A. nightclub. The explosion of publicity may already be taking a toll on Britney, however. She reportedly has pulled out of plans to cohost the Billboard Awards with Paris. Not only will we now miss some awesome train-wreck TV, but the bodacious blondes may have broken up before their BFF-hood reached its logical conclusion: a Paris-Britney sex tape.
—Chad Lowe in the National Enquirer, reportedly talking to Tom Hanks at a screening for wife Rita Wilson's flick Beautiful Ohio. In other words, be very wary of the Swank spank Semi-Precious Offspring:  Who'd a thunk that Sean "Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, P., Sean John" Combs would have trouble with names. But In Touch says Mr. McDiddylicious is in a tussle with longtime girlfriend Kim Porter over what to name their twin girls, due this month. The Diddster wants to name them Diamond and Ruby, but Kim is reportedly "horrified," preferring traditional names such as Grace and Emily. Relax, Kim, even if the Artist Formerly Known as J.Lo's Boyfriend does name the girls after his bling, he's sure to change their names every few months. —Cameron Diaz in People. The surfer-girl goofball has been spending a lot of time away from Hollywood's show-biz death vortex, and she wears it well. Mahalo!
In tha Dogg House:  Forget all those gun and drug possession charges, Snoop Dogg is really in the hizzy again. At least not yet. In Touch reports that the rapper-actor is going to the dogs, launching a line of canine clothing designs. Yes, Snoop will help you turn Fido out as the flyest mutt in the hood with street-cred threads like a DoggFather hoodie, a faux fur coat or a throwback basketball jersey. Now, that's what we call doing it doggy style. —Lindsay Lohan in the National Enquirer, after snagging an hors d'oeuvres at a Hollywood party. If you think that sounds rude, she reportedly then spit the offending morsel back onto the waiter's tray. As they say in France, tray gross Black Dahlia  Blues:  Okay, so they're not exactly Reese and Ryan in the greater Hollywood scheme of things, but we're sad to report that Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson appear to have called it quits. Star says the two have been fighting for some time and suggest Josh has been cozy with current costar Amber Sainsbury, though Hartnett's reps are holding firm on the "just friends" line. It's probably just as well for Amber's sake. A friend of Hartnett tells Star  that Josh has said, "If he and Scarlett ever broke up, he would have to date three girls just to make up for her." Awww, so sweet. But Josh and Scarlett reportedly clashed about work, says another pal: "He was always trying to pick and choose her movie projects, and Scarlett told him to 'butt out.' " We hate to kick you when you're down, Josh, but if you've been giving Scarlett advice, it's time for a career reality check. Better she should be picking your flicks! Face! —Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie in Us Weekly. Excuse us, was that God singing, "Let's get retarded in here?" Just Being Shellfish:  Don't get us wrong, it's great when addicts clean up. And People does a lovely story on Ed Furlong, who has turned his life around and is in a better place with a new wife and baby. But we have to admit, a little celeb craziness makes our Tab Fabulous work here that much easier. For instance, check out this story Ed relates from an incident at a Kentucky supermarket in 2004: "I was a blubbering drunk. I freed a bunch of lobsters. We were taking pictures. I got arrested. 'Freeing lobsters' was on the police report." Nice. But who now will take up the heroic cause of lobster liberation? Tara? Lindsay? Pam? Anyone? —Rob Lowe in Us, on passing up the offer to play McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. Well, maybe not the first time. Back in the day, we remember hearing a little something about a couple-three sexed-up home movies. And then there was that Snow White song-and-dance number at the Oscars... Material Girl, the Next Generation:  Madonna's daughter, Lourdes, has to be one of the few 10-year-olds with a $10,000 limit on her credit card. But the pampering only begins there, according to In Touch. Little Lou reportedly insists on wearing only handmade clothes in vintage fabrics. She not only gets custom threads from mom's designer pals, but darling daughter also has her own stylist. "She is the only client I have who gets her clothes at the beginning of each season," says stylist Deborah Bunn. "She only wants unusual dresses and the newest designs." And we're guessing Bunn really busts her butt for Lourdes. After all, who wants to be fired by a peanut?

Additional snarky smarts and tab-fabulous wit provided by the lovely and talented Tina King.