Bitch-Back! Defending Miss California's Christianity

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Dear Ted:
I've always thought you were witty and talented, such a joy to read your column every day. However, you have been ridiculing Christians (as a group) lately, and that just isn't right. There are Christians who behave poorly, and there are atheists who behave poorly as well. Regardless of your beliefs, it isn't appropriate to ridicule any religion.
—nshanna

Dear Fair and Equal:
I'll stick to ridiculing Miss Cali in particular, sound good?

Dear Ted:
We all have been raised differently and have norms and cultures that are equally different. Miss California was asked the question what is her position on gay marriage. The operative word being her not yours or Perez's. You seem to have this ethnocentric view that everyone would be accepting to your way of life, which is very deterring. Not everyone is going to accept you as much as you would like them to.
—Jennesia

Dear Excuse Me:
Are you on crack at the whites-only country club? What the hell does ethnocentric imply? That it's an ethnic thing to ask for civil liberties? And I don't want acceptance—you're very wrong about that. I demand equal constitutional rights.

Dear Ted:
I'm so glad to see Russell Brand getting recognition on your side of the pond. He's hilarious, and whenever you feel guilty about your own bad behaviour you need only look to him to remember that whatever you did, it really wasn't that bad. Speaking of bad behaviour, I really can't believe Robsten has taken it to the streets, by streets I mean restaurant. They know everyone wants a piece of them; there is no way they would do anything in public, no matter what's going on behind closed doors.
—emer.cassidy

Dear Naysayer:
Is this PDA public enough for ya?

Dear Ted:
Is there a gorgeous guy standing in Nevis Divine's shadow? A best friend formerly with benefits? Perhaps fighting for his heart from afar? Doesn't this dashing dude deserve his own nickname?
—imqaatdbru

Dear Alias Asker:
Dumped Dish? Nah, he's not dumped at all, so scratch that!

Dear Ted:
Is Sock-It-to-You Russell Crowe? Or another star who has had very public and violent tantrums?
—Amanda F., N.Y.

Dear Not Russ, But:
Haven't they all?

Dear Ted:
The idea of an Angelina Jolie tell-all book is intriguing. Even if it never sees the light of day, some of the rumors are quite scandalous. Maybe some of them are fake, but I believe the dirt on Angie would be quite ferocious if it ever came out. Do you agree?
—LB

Dear Clever:
Do I detect a not-so-subtle guess for a Blind Vice there?

Dear Ted:
I just completed round one of the Most Awful Celeb and saw that Toothy was listed as a choice, which renewed my obsession with finding out who he is. So I have to beg, any chance you could let me know: Was Toothy listed under his real name somewhere else on the contest?
—jede

Dear Awful Poller:
You're a sneaky little detective aren't you? Think you're onto something, I do.

Dear Ted:
I love this poll! It's interesting that Lindsay is winning in the wasted career category. I voted for Amy—who had (has?) immense talent and career potential. Lindsay...wasted? Sure. Talent? Not so much. P.S. How is Butch doing? I'm still sending cat-nip-filled hugs his way!
—Lucy

Dear Kitty Well-Wisher:
He's hanging in there—doing better than Lindsay's career at this point, anyway. 

Dear Ted:
I've been laid up lately with what I suspect is the pig flu, or whatever alpha/numerical name they're calling it now. After the awful symptoms start to abate, one is left with no energy to do much more than surf the Internet. So I started to read old Ted columns, some way back. So what do I find? A little one-liner addressed to Ryan Phillippe right after his separation from Reese: "Don't even bother lookin', Ry, they don't come any better than Reese!" Now, I've been reading you for almost a year, and you seem to have changed your tune about the wonders of Reese. Just when did this epiphany take place? And why?
—Patricia

Dear Archiver:
People change over time. Reese did. And so did my opinion of her.

Dear Ted:
Love your column, and I've even slowly caved to the Robsten mania thanks to your coverage of it. My question is about another beloved B.V.: Do we know if Crotch Uh-lastic has ever dated his costars, female and/or male?
—htukachinsky

Dear But of Course:
What the hell do you think actors do in their trailers, anyway? Study their lines?

Dear Ted:
Is Dashed Dingle-Dream Joshua Jackson? I know this is random, but the Mighty Ducks movies just came to mind.
—Lauren

Dear Way Off:
Think far more reliably humpy, please.

Dear Ted:
Am I alone here, or does this whole Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson pairing gives me flashbacks to circa 1976 Jodie Foster and Scott Baio?
—Nicola 

Dear Mother Like Daughter:
Are you insinuating that while Pattz is in Kris Stewart's company, she's fantasizing about, say, her Panic Room mom Jodie Foster? Highly dubious of that, sorry!
_____

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