Bambino #4 for Brangelina? Plus, Ta-Ta to Tara's Ta-Tas?

Upping the Parental Ante: No sooner does Britney Spears pop another one out of the oven than word hits the tabs that Brangelina may be ordering takeout again--this time reportedly planning to adopt a baby boy from India, according to Star. But under the headline "Brad & Angelina: Baby #4," the mag's tongue waggers say Angie may actually be working on baby number five. Seems Angie is not only angling for another adoption but also showing signs of pregnancy. "She's not taking birth control, and she's very emotional," says Star's source, who apparently is a fly on the wall, possibly pregnant with her own maggot. "One minute she's crying, the next minute she's giggling hilariously. That's exactly the way she acted when she was pregnant with Shiloh." Couldn't be anything else. Unless she's, uh, moody. But, nah, that never happens to women, and certainly not to women with three small children. In related "news," Tom Cruise can't buy a break. TomKat's Vanity Fair publicity coup has been drowned out by the coo-cooing of Kevney's second. Still, Globe is doing its best to keep Tom in the game of high-stakes parental poker (I see that infant--and raise ya one!). The rag says, "Katie promised Tom baby No. 2 if they get married." She maybe did; he maybe did; they maybe do--stay tuned! --Hayden Christensen in Us, laughing off gay rumors...unless he's spreading them. Whatever. And why not? After all, as he went on to elaborate, "Rumors are more fun than reality." Finally, a star who gets it! "Friends Fear Lindsay's Eloped": That's the cover line from this week's Star, which reports that impish star Lindsay Lohan reportedly called her mom and announced, "I'm getting married!" She was joking. We think. But the diva-esque date machine could do far worse than her beau of two months, multimillionaire hotel heir Harry Morton. He reportedly doesn't drink or do drugs and helps balance the volatile starlet, recently convincing Lohan to skip the VMAs and NY Fashion Week in favor of a more respectable trip to the Venice Film Fest to boost her movie career. Of course, Venice is where she called from to tell mom Dina of her (maybe) mock engagement, so go figure. The mag also notes that both Lindsay and Dina "realize that an engagement [would be] good to temper her party-girl image!" So, if it's not true love, at least it's good publicity. After all, you wouldn't want her career to go to the dogs--or would you? (See Pet-Cetera item below.) --Ben Affleck in Us, on why he's not planning to get into politics The Straight Poop: We're not dogging her about on-set tardiness, but Lindsay really stepped in it recently on the set of Georgia Rule. While talking on her cell phone between scenes, Lohan traipsed through some dog poo and told a P.A. to "get paper towels." When the assistant complied, Lindsay reportedly ordered her to "clean the shoe!" But the P.A. refused to take any crap, literally, prompting Lindsay to kick off her soiled shoes and beat a barefoot retreat. We smell a Nike ad: Just doo it. --Lost booty, um, beauty Evangeline Lilly in Us. So, any way you look at it, she's a big star When Dress Means No: This week's must-flip mag is People, with endless pages of their annual Best & Worst Dressed. Sure, it celebrates the top 10 celebs as voted by readers and features 308 celebrity looks. But as always, the Best Dressed section should have speed bumps in it, because we're all racing to see the Worst. And these fashion disappointments don't disappoint: Sarah Jessica Parker mixes tartan and tutu and adds a touch of auntie curtains for a uniquely awful look. Gorgeous Heather Graham becomes a nightmare of ugly in a floor-length denim-halter-dress monstrosity. And usually fashionable Beyoncé winds up looking like a pinstriped Pomeranian. Woof! But Sharon Stone is the real Helle of the Ball here, in seven deadly outfits that are a sin against taste, decorum and her own natural beauty. We know Sharon no longer cares about anything (we saw Basic Instinct 2), which only makes us savor her hilariously heinous fashion kitsch even more. --Scarlett Johansson in Us. And now we're guessing that all the guys in the building are sitting home every night just hoping for another champagne-cocktail happy accident Billionaire Battle Royal: Old friendships die hard. Witness the latest dustup between Donald Trump and Martha Stewart, chronicled by People. Calling them "the Paris and Lindsay of the over-60 set," the mag just winds them up and lets them go. Says Martha: "Donald is out of control. By the time he's finished, he will have fired everyone around him...And poor Donald will be sitting there on his little pedestal all by himself." Says Donald: "She's upset that my show became the hottest show on television and her [version of The Apprentice] didn't make it. She should just get on with her life." Here's our verdict: Trump and Martha--you're tired! --Morgan Fairchild in People, on why she never throws clothes away Her Cups Runneth Over--and Out: Trouble in Taradise? Seems like it. In Touch reports that Tara Reid said ta-ta to her ta-tas Sept. 7, replacing her humongous implants with smaller ones. She feels the nipple-slip-prone protuberances have brought her undue scrutiny. "Everyone does it. I don't know why I'm the one who gets so much attention." Now she's hoping that less is more--more meaty acting roles, that is. Come back, Bunny Lebowski, we miss you!
--Jackass star Steve-O in Star. What a guy! He also says, "I want to show a more caring, deeper and mature Steve-O than the world has seen before...You're talking to the guy who got discovered for stapling his butt cheeks and jumping into piles of poo!" He sounds more caring and deeper already--if only deeper in poo Padre Don't Preach: Bringing a whole new meaning to the expression "getting bombed in Amsterdam," a 63-year-old priest called in a phony bomb threat to a Madonna show in the Dutch capital of depravity. Us Weekly reports that he was apparently trying to stop the blaspheming-to-the-beat crucifixion number that's been generating headlines worldwide. Color us bored. Cynics could be forgiven for thinking that maybe the controversy-mongering star's people were behind the frocked-up Father's call--but that's a little too genius, even for Madge.