Will K-Fed have to pay Britney child support?

The B!tch Replies:  Most states require even losers like Federline to pay something toward their children's support. That something may be a portion of the $12.59 Kevin earns from a day's worth of selling his CDs out of the back of his car.

Or the payment may come out of  the $8 Federline gets from the three people actually interested in paying to watch him and Britney rolling around and squealing  like a pair of underfed hogs on their alleged sex tape.

Or it may be a slice of the many, many millions of dollars that Federline could raise from ordinary Americans who would pay anything just to keep him from spawning yet again.

No matter how small the income, lawyers tell this B!tch, most parents in most states have to cough up something of value for the kids. Those rules technically would apply even in the Spears case, regardless of which overpaid hillbilly actually wins custody of Sean and little Jaden James.

(And, no, Kevin, rapping to your little boys about all the playah haters on Robertson Boulevard does not count as a contribution toward the kids' welfare.)

Even if K-Fed were flat broke, as soon as he started selling off his do-rag collection to pay the cable bill, some of those profits could legally belong to his new sons, attorneys say.

"The father does not get off the hook for having nothing," says Lois J. Liberman, a partner at the New York law firm Blank Rome, which has represented Donald Trump in his marital escapades.

Usually, Liberman says, a judge determines support payments by first calculating the separate and combined income of both parties, then setting aside a percentage of that total strictly for child care.

Then said judge mulls the difference in the parents' incomes and comes up with a number for the noncustodial parent to pay monthly. So, let's say Diddy made 80 percent of the combined income between him and the mother of his oldest son, Justin. In a typical case, Diddy might have to be responsible for 80 percent of Justin's living expenses, whatever bazillions that might equal in cute little sweaters and  tiny diamond earrings.

But back to Britney and Kevin...

Having slammed Federline enough—for now—I will say, in fairness, he does have some money. Unless he has blown it all on the video poker machines in Vegas, Kev has reportedly charged and been paid up to $20,000 for appearance fees—money just for showing up at clubs and proving he can speak in complete sentences.

Time magazine has estimated Britney's fortune at about $150 million, though a legal document filed by Spears last year puts the total closer to $32 million.

Having said all this, experts tell this B!tch it isn't likely Fed-Ex will be required to offer any support to his kids with Britney. (And who are we kidding? The children will end up with her, even though, at last look, Kevin was making an obvious bid for cash by seeking custody of the babies.)

Instead, family law attorney Randall Pitler predicts, Britney will waive her right to Kevin's monthly pittances just so she never, ever has to deal with him again.

"The reality is she would work out an agreement that he doesn't have to pay child support as long as he is willing to give something in exchange," Pitler tells this B!tch.

Something—as in, taking his weaselly looking ass and rapping about Robertson from far, far away.

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