Why do female stars pose for supposedly sexy photos?

By: William, Sanford, Florida

A.B. Replies: Because she wants the money.

She wants the cash that can be earned only by helping millions of faceless, feckless male consumers with their masturbatory needs. When the men are adequately satisfied, they are more likely to buy what the ladies are selling.

Think of it this way: Those Maxim readers will eventually hike up their Dockers and squire their girlfriends to the movies, a concert or some other amusement. And which amusement might they choose? Hey! Why not the one starring that nice lady who just helped me masturbate?

"The simple answer is publicity," Maxim editor James Heidenry tells this B!tch. "If Cameron Diaz wants men to agree to go with their girlfriends to see Charlie's Angels, then a little prodding from the cover of Maxim sends a seductive message to 13 million potential moviegoers. It also sends a message to the industry that the starlet is 'hot right now,' not unlike why celebrities show up for every awards show or event under the sun."

Remember, hotness is currency in the entertainment business. It is just another bargaining chip, along with a honey-toned voice or a fetus-chomping agent or a wife named Britney.

Hotness can buy a fading leading lady brand-new movie roles, but only if producers and directors have evidence that the talent is still sexy.

"If female stars are trying to promote something, they want those eyeballs," says Smokey D. Fontaine, the new editor of Giant magazine.

In the music world, hotness can buy more record deals if a singer's ass has stayed pert enough for album covers or horny concertgoers. Most consumers don't want just a CD, they want a CD and a sexual fantasy.

Exhibit A: Madonna. Before shelling out umpteen bazillion dubloons to watch Madonna dress up as a pirate or a dinosaur or Jesus or whatever, money-conscious consumers want a guarantee that she will look good doing it. The best way for Madonna to make that hotness promise is to display it all for cheap.

In Lady M's case, she taped herself up in strips of shredded leather equestrian wear and splayed herself before a team of horses, all for a massive spread for the current issue of W. That periodical is, of course, not a lad mag, but the photos have nonetheless spread far and wide via the Internet, into the sticky, labyrinthine bedrooms of every adolescent lad in the nation. Not coincidentally, Madonna's concerts have been selling out--and not all of those ticket holders can possibly be aging straight women or gay men.

There is one other possible factor in the bikini parade, if you can believe it:

"Some of our cover girls just think it's fun" to do sexy shoots, Heidenry says. "Brittany Murphy always wanted to be a pinup à la the '50s glam girls, and I think Shania Twain said something like--and this is not an exact quote--'I don't want to look back when I'm 60 and think I wasted it.' "