What's up with hair extensions?

--Janice, Sylmar, California

A.B. Replies: Hey, celebrities need your attention. They need it the way they need oxygen, protein and a personal umbrella carrier. And think of all competition a star faces for your eyeballs: Grand Theft Auto; Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories; Grand Theft Auto San Andreas; LonelyGirl on YouTube (aka the Internet's Oldest 16-Year-Old); online video of talking cats; online video of sneezing pandas; and Facebook.com.

These days, it's brutal for an actress, who has most likely substituted your adoration for food. Your interest is all she has to live on, the poor dear.

One generally reliable way to retain the spotlight: Change one's appearance. Keep 'em guessing. Give the fashion editors at Us Weekly and Star something to pay attention to each week. (Otherwise those editors will spend hours polishing up all the freebies they get from desperate publicists and stacking them up into little piles like a bunch of raccoons.)

The more often a starlet surprises us with a new look, the more intriguing and fashionable and creative she seems. A slow way to achieve that is through gaining or dropping weight ("Jess loses eight pounds in a week!") But it's a lot quicker to change your hair. Ergo, Kristin Cavallari snips her coif into a bob, and Star writes it up like news.

Of course, one can't just keep cutting one's hair every few days, or one will eventually look like an extra on Prison Break. Enter hair extensions. A quick hairstylist, like the popular Vered Valensi, who runs her Vered Salon on Melrose Avenue here in Los Angeles, can lengthen a client's tresses in as little as two to three hours.

"It's always interesting to see a celebrity change," Valensi tells this B!tch. "They become trendsetters. Hair means beauty, so a lot of it can help--not if it's like Janis Joplin hair, of course, but if it's done right."

Going through the trouble of keeping your look fresh: $2,500 to $3,500. Knowing that you won't have to date John Mayer or get into an all-out brawl with a former BFF to stay in the public eye for another week: Priceless.

That's probably why Rachael Leigh Cook came to Vered for extensions a few months ago. But it isn't just the young actresses who feel the need to keep changing. Backstage at the Emmys a few weeks ago, Valensi lengthened the locks of all manner and class of actress, including Illeana Douglas and 24's Jean Smart. And as this B!tch was interviewing Valensi over the phone, the stylist was awaiting the arrival of Kathy Najimy, who was due for a consultation and possibly some new hair.

Sure beats another dinner date with John Mayer. Shudder.