What's up with David Bowie lately?
By: Georgia, Modesto, California
A.B. Replies: The Thin White Duke agreed earlier this month to play inventor Nikola Tesla in Christopher Nolan's magician-versus-magician flick The Prestige, his first role in five years. Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson and Christian Bale are also in the movie. Shooting starts next month.
Such a simple question. And so, so many other quickies in the old B!tch Box. Time for me to fumigate with a Lightning Round. You might want to clear out for a while until the scents subside.
Is it true that Britney Spears gave up the opportunity to star on Broadway in Sweet Charity? Why would she do this? It seems like a plum job.
Alexa Marks, Asburn, Virginia
Like, geez! How's she gonna forage for pureed corn dogs for the kid and keep her man from sticking his tongue in the garbage disposal and share her Personal Thoughts with the world on her Website if she's dancin' like Fosse all the livelong day? Like, God!
After everything he has accomplished, what do you think is next for Justin Timberlake?
Jose, Garland, Texas
Movies. He's got a voice part in Shrek 3, and the gritty street tattoo drama Alpha Dog is due next year. He also just completed a flick called Black Snake Moan. Would rather not research the details of that one if it's all the same to you.
Why can't actors move to other areas in their states, away from the paparazzi zones, if they hate the harassment so much?
J.H., Virginia
Because they'd have to shop at Wal-Mart and deal with the likes of you.
Are there any Jewish celebrities?
Rachel Broyde, Atlanta, Georgia
Of course not. Everybody knows that this town is run by the Lutheran Mafia.
How can I get information on legitimate casting companies, without paying ridiculous fees or being scammed?
Tiffany, New York
The Screen Actors Guild offers lists of projects run by union signatories. It also has good guidelines for evaluating casting agents. Click here for more. Then get back to me. Now, that'll be $50, please.

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