Ask the Answer B!tch

Marvel; Columbia Pictures

Now that The Avengers has brought in more than $207 mil at the box office, does that mean there's no room for The Amazing Spider-Man or The Dark Knight Rises? It sounds like an awful lot of superhero movie for a single summer.
—Gatley, via the inbox

No, it is not an awful lot of superhero movie. Mark my words: America will put its collective butt in a theater seat, and it will watch Spider-Man, and it will have a good time and spend lots of money to make Emma Stone even richer than she already is. And I have proof:

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The whole time I was reading Catching Fire, all I kept picturing when Finnick Odair was being described was Michael Fassbender. I think he's perfect for the role. Don't you think he'd fit the role too?
—Brianna C, via the inbox

Thing is, Finnick is supposed to be sexy sexy, not I'm-a-robot-who-can-probably-crush-your-face sexy. Also, Finnick is supposed to be in his 20s, and Fassbender, while a talented face-crusher, is also a face-crusher in his 30s.

But you've broached an interesting topic: Who should play the handsome, flirty Finnick? Or Beetee, for that matter, or Wiress, or Mags? Let's do some fantasy casting:

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Universal, Warner Bros, Columbia, Sony

What summer movies are facing the "best" odds for absolutely tanking at the box office? I'm a little worried for Men in Black 3. 
—Scott, Tucson, via the inbox

Fret not, son, because I've crunched the numbers for every big-budget schlockfest coming this summer, and of all the celebrities involved, from Ri-Ri to Johnny, Cruise to Charlize, Will Smith and Josh Brolin are not the least likely to succeed.

How do I know?

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PopChips, NBC, Burger King, Paramount Pictures

Now that Ashton Kutcher's racist PopChips ad has been pulled, I've gotten to wondering: Is doing racially charged comedy, such as blackface, ever OK?

—Vegas is Boring, via the inbox

Well, there sure seems to have been a resurgence of it lately, if you include Jon Hamm's appearance on 30 Rock; Mary J. Blige's ill-advised Burger King commercial—which, while not meant to be racially charged comedy, ended up being just that—and, yes, Ashton Kutcher's epic fail. Even Sacha Baron Cohen, who is well known for shock comedy, is taking flak for a possibly bigoted portrayal of a dictator.

But if you think this is the last time we'll see racially dangerous japery, you're probably wrong. Why? Because, from what I am told, sometimes this kind of stuff actually is acceptable.

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vimeo

How much will Jessica Simpson make off her pregnancy and recent birth?
—Doughboy, via the inbox

If there's one thing Jessica Simpson knows how to do, it's make money out of stuff that other people do all the time, like, getting married. Or, in this most recent case, making a newborn baby girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson.

Just how much is Simpson—who is already super rich—expected to rake in?

Well:

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Phase 4 Films

I just saw the trailer for Hick, where Chloë Moretz packs a gun and looks like jailbait. Why must adolescent actresses take hyper-sexualized roles to prove they're ready for grown up parts?
—G. Best, via the inbox

Don't stop there. A 12-year-old Dakota Fanning got movie-raped in Hounddog; young Jodie Foster played a child prostitute in short shorts in Taxi Driver; Brooke Shields got naked for Pretty Baby at age 12; even Natalie Portman, who prides herself on no-nudity work, came very close to Lolita territory in The Professional.

So is seeing Moretz, now 15, packing a pistol and a bare midriff in Hick reason to launch a pearl-clutching Save the Moppets campaign? Not necessarily:

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Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Now that Tupac has been resurrected digitally, who's likely to be next?
—Randy, via the inbox

I'm tempted to create a new segment called America's Next Top Hologram, except, of course, Tupac was flat, and any subsequent dead stars who get the same treatment will be equally two dimensional. Did you hear me? Flat.

Now, we've already learned that Michael Jackson may moonwalk back into our lives, and that Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes is returning from the dead, care of her bandmates in T.L.C.

But as for which other stars may be on their way, I guarantee you these folks will surprise you:

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Lionsgate/Disney/Zade Rosenthal/Marvel

I just saw the trailer for Brave. With Hunger Games still huge at the box office, are bows and arrows replacing guns in movies?
—Bomb Bob, via the inbox

We do appear to be in a mini-era of bad-ass bow wielders, and I'm not just talking about Katniss and her dystopia-slaying arrows...or the flaming red-head who stars in Pixar's upcoming adventure. How about:

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Courtesy of Mark Thiessen/National Geographic

James Cameron wants to mine asteroids in space! I thought space resources were for everybody. Isn't he rich enough?!
—Pork Is Good, via the inbox

Yes, Cameron does have plenty of film lucre as it is—with his Avatar flick bringing in a record $2.78 billion at the box office and an estimated personal net worth somewhere in the middle nine figures. But to be king of the world, one must also rule the stars, it seems:

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Alfama Films

So now that Robert Pattinson's movie is going to be shown at Cannes, does that certify it as good or that we have to take him more seriously?
—Xtina, via the inbox

You speak of the drama Cosmopolis; we know this film is Extremely Important because it is based not on a mere novel but a piece of literature...high literature involving metaphors for failure and loss. And, yes, this movie is showing at the world's most prestigious fest. But none of that guarantees that the film is any good...

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