Lightning Round: Undead Stars and Giant Handbags!
—Ouida, Fairburn, Georgia The B!tch Replies: For the last time, nobody is dead right now except for Richard Jeni and that guy who sang "More Than a Feeling" back in '76. Everyone else is alive. Oh, and Anna Nicole. CNN says she's still dead. Can we move on now? It's time for a Lightning Round (patent pending)...
Why do celebrities carry around those gigantic bags? Do they really have that much crap, and if so, don't they have people to carry it for them?
—Jayde, Montgomery, Alabama
Admit it: If some designer sent you a $2,800 handbag for free, you'd carry it around, even if it were the size of a Frigidaire and gave you gangrene of the arms. Because it's a designer handbag, and you got it for free.
How do non-A-listers who seem to make only one movie in a blue moon manage to live so well? Are the residuals of their previous work that good? Or are they doing other work when they're not in front of the camera?
—Diana, Centre Hall, Pennsylvania
Not necessarily. Let's put it this way: One national commercial can earn an actor $20,000 to $70,000. And that's just commercial work. Throw in the occasional voice-over gig, and you have plenty to live on.
Why do models always look so mad? Because they are HUNGARY!
—Ruth, Crozet, Virginia
Actually, supermodel Petra Nemcova is Czech.
What's going on with the actor who plays House. I really think he is interesting.
—Gail, Stafford, Virginia
He's even more interesting when you consider he has to cover up that British accent and pretend he's a gimp. Even other English actors like Jamie Bamber don't have to multitask like that. Unless Jamie is doing a flying scene in his Viper, and he has to pretend he's hit—while being not English. Then it's a draw.
Answer B!tch, we love your cruel and shockingly astute comments about Gwyneth Paltrow. Give us a Lightning Round about that frigid reptile! Keep up the admirable b!tching.
—Jason and Javier, Montreal
That would involve Gwyneth being interesting enough to merit 350 whole words. Even Bill Clinton couldn't blow that kind of smoke.
- NEXT QUESTION: How does celeb hair color change so drastically?
- UPLOAD A VIDEO QUESTION: It's so easy!

0 Comments
Now loading...