Is it true that Orlando Bloom is a Buddhist?

By: Girlie, Cebu, Philippines

A.B. Replies: Why must you invade the privacy of the Buddhists? These are peaceful folk who only wish to chew quietly on their bamboo shoots and rake their sand gardens.

You have a heart the size of a toasted pine nut.

But so do I, so here you go: Orlando Bloom is, according to all manner and class of report, a practicing Buddhist. Per the dictionary definition of Buddhism, Bloom believes life is intrinsically full of suffering, reincarnation is a punishment foisted upon those who live wickedly and only through enlightenment can one escape all that drear and pass on to the light beyond. Escape from this endless cycle of punishment is called nirvana.

(Nirvana, it might be pointed out, can be achieved by ousting greed from one's soul, so next time you see Bloom, ask him for a few million of his earnings--you know, from his new pirate jape. He will immediately hand over a towering wad of cash.)

Buddhists, I'm told, also believe nothing is permanent. I don't know how that affects those feverish tabloid engagement reports we're always hearing about Bloom and girlfriend Kate Bosworth, but according to reports, she's a Buddhist, too, so maybe she doesn't care.

Bloom says he converted from the Church of England so he could stay grounded. (In the States, this is what your entourage is for.)

"It's been a real anchor for me," Bloom told the Independent Film Quarterly just before the release of Kingdom of Heaven. "Ultimately, [Buddhism supplies] an unshakeable sense of self. You just have to keep focused on living life, being good to the people around you and respecting all life."

An Australian periodical also recently listed Steven Seagal and Goldie Hawn as followers. Other reports count Sharon Stone and Beastie Boy Adam Yauch among the enlightenment groupies.

Tina Turner, reportedly, is a Buddhist.

However, one of the most visible Buddhists in Hollywood--someone you would know very well if you were any swooning house Frau born circa 1956--is Richard Gere. Gere is pretty much on a first-name basis with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, believed to be the living embodiment of the bodhisattva of compassion.

Gere even takes pictures of yogis and other wise Buddhist people and gives them to museums.

In fact, there is one such photo up right now, at the Fowler Museum in Los Angeles. It is black-and-white and stark and all that. One Website lists its value at about $2,000. I am sure Gere would not risk keeping that money and bringing suffering upon himself, so I would be happy to take it off his hands. I'm sure I'll get that check any day now.