I'm 12 and want to be a rapper. Can you make up my name?

By: Britanny, Memphis, Tennessee

A.B. Replies: How presh.

For you, Britanny, this B!tch cornered not one but two experts well versed in hip-hop nomenclature. The first is Michael "Blue" Williams, the manager for Big Boi and Andre 3000, a duo better known as OutKast. Williams brought his work on OutKast's upcoming album and film to a screaming, painful halt, just so he could help you. But in your case, he says, he needs more information.

"I could come up with this really tough name for her and she could be the sweetest thing in the world, and it wouldn't make sense," Williams tells this B!tch.

Just who are you, wee enigma? And, no, that doesn't count as a name. Keep reading.

In the case of Andre Benjamin's stage name, Williams tells this B!tch, "He was already Andre 3000 when I started working with him.

"As I understand it," Williams says, "just as everyone else was going the 21st century, the idea was that Andre was already in the 22nd--Andre 3000."

Williams' advice to you, Britanny: Look in the mirror. What manner or class of pint-size protégé do you see? A bundle of all that is sour and ornery, like Lady of Rage? A compact torrent of talent who likes to toy with wigs, contact lenses, other people's husbands and the law, like Lil' Kim? A queen from New Jersey, like Latifah? A tasty household condiment, like Salt or Pepa?

Keep going. Take a look at the rhymes you've penned so far--"My Big Fat Stupid Sister Ate All the Chicken Strips" or "Mom Won't Take Me to See Beyoncé and I So Hate Her." Is there a theme to your work, something that sums up everything that you are? If so, that should go into your name.

Overall, Williams recommends that you pick a handle that indicates youth, but also something you can "grow into." Stick a "Li'l" or a "Young" or a "Tiny" or a "Wee" or a "Short" at the beginning of your name--something you can lop off when you turn 18 and want to start posing on the cover of Rolling Stone wearing nothing but a microphone and a smile.

Here's more insight. According to Andrew McIntosh, who teaches hip-hop history at Lehigh University, rap names often refer to an artist's geographic origin or childhood nickname. In his youth, far before he proclaimed this new era of Diddy, Sean Combs reportedly liked to puff out his chest to disguise some unfortunate scrawniness. Hence, Combs' first stage name, Puffy.

The young Calvin Broadus looked a little snippy as a tyke and wound up being named after a cartoon pooch. Broadus still goes by that nickname: Snoop Dogg.

And Biggie Smalls, well, he was just massive.

So, until we can say more about you, I dub thee Li'l Mystery. Just don't forget who gave you your start.