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Can the court make Britney's peeps testify?
Hold on a freakin’ minute. K-Fed is subpoenaing all of Britney’s workers to testify against her over custody of the kids. But you once said people who work for stars have to agree to never talk about them, or they can get sued. I’m confused. Help, mighty Answer B!tch!
—Jada, Malibu, California
The B!tch Replies: Gladly, youngling. It’s simple. Think of this as a game of bridge—with the stakes being two roly-poly little children whose mother believes that toddlers should have their teeth whitened by a professional.
The cards are dealt, and...lo! Federline’s subpoena trumps Brit’s employee nondisclosure agreement. Specifically, the custody court doesn’t see itself as a party in this NDA. That was a pact between Britney and whatever hapless soul agreed to follow her around and pick up her empty Red Bull cans and fried-chicken wrappers for a living.
The court, being neither Britney nor the hapless soul, couldn't care less about what those two decided. It wants its facts forthwith.
“In fact,” says top divorce attorney Jeffery Leving, “if someone is subpoenaed, and they don’t show up to court to testify because of an NDA, the judge could have that person brought into custody. And if they’re brought into custody on a Friday, they may spend the weekend in jail waiting for a Monday court date.”
Picture it: Britney’s manny, her recently departed assistant and her maybe cousin—all of whom were recently served by Federline’s lawyer—in the same jail, maybe even in a cell next to, I dunno, Nicole Richie. For a whole weekend. No jaunts to the Polaroid House in Malibu for those funsters. For two whole days.
Here’s the saddest part about all this, kids: Britney’s lawyer, Laura A. Wasser, I am told, could quite possibly have prevented this mess for her client. Really. Or at least tried a little harder to dull the pain.
“The lawyer could have gone to court to seek injunctive relief, to try and stop the serving process,” Leving says. “The attorney could have argued that the NDAs were in place to protect the children and that they needed to be considered.
“I don’t know why the attorney didn’t do that.”
Who knows? Maybe the attorney did try, and the judge wasn’t in the mood to hear an argument on behalf of a girl who eats tacos on her bedroom floor.
Here’s what is certain, though: The subpoena parade is just warmin’ up, baby.
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