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Could Whitney Houston Have Been Saved?
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Does Jim Carrey's Daughter Have an Edge on Idol?
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Could Brad Pitt Wear Jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars?
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Are there any real movie stars left?
If a studio wants to guarantee a number one opening or a big box-office take for a movie, who are the best actors or actresses to get to open the movie? Which ones can guarantee a hit movie just by starring in a picture?
—Cyan, Mobile, Alabama
The B!tch Replies: Let's put it this way: If a heat-seeking missile were to be released from the highest peak of the Santa Monica mountains, it would pivot toward Will Smith's wonder compound without any hesitation. It would also blow up what analysts say could be the only real A-list star left in Hollywood.
Really.
Even Tom Cruise's klieg-light smile and hyper can-do power persona can't automatically sell a movie right now. (Lions for Lambs was the first Cruise movie in roughly 15 years not to open at number one.)
Ditto with Reese Witherspoon's relentless sunny-side-up-ness—and she is, according to breathless industry reports, the highest-paid actress of all time, drawing $29 million for her upcoming picture Our Family Trouble. (Her last movie, Rendition, though, didn't even pull in $10 million domestically.)
And remember Julia Roberts? Her hair alone used to be able to open a picture. You kids are too young to remember the late '80s, when alls she had to do was apply some mousse, spray the roots until they were vertical and lope onto a set. Her coiffure was a barely tamed bougainvillea of moneymaking. Thems were the days.
No more. Roberts' latest picture, Charlie Wilson's War, which paired her with another onetime juggernaut, Tom Hanks, opened at number four at the box office.
"Star power just isn't what it used to be," Exhibitor Relations box office analyst Chad Hartigan tells this B!tch. "It's been replaced by brand recognition in the title. People are looking for something they already know—a remake, comic book or a sequel.
"But the exception to that is Will Smith."
Indeed. These days, if Smith even thinks about making a movie, $70 million magically amasses in a big pile outside of Warner Bros.
His movies almost never fail to open at number one. I Am Legend enjoyed a $70 million opening weekend. And that sappy movie about a man and his son living in a bathroom stall or whatever? Even that one opened at number one.
"Smith has just been really smart," Hartigan says simply. "He sort of built a persona that isn't reliant on any one genre or audience."
Now, you'll excuse me. I am going to see if Smith will let me play in his giant pile of money.
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