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Aging Hunk Watch: Indy! Nazi! Ahahah!

Harrison Ford Paramount Vantage

Fortysomething John Cusack is the man of the weekend; 1408 was the biggest opening ever for a Stephen King adaptation. Yes! And in a couple of weeks, everyone will be talking about the year’s most romantic movie moment: Over-40 film gods John Travolta and Christopher Walken wooing and grooving in Hairspray. Clearly, older is better right now. So, let’s check in on some other vintage leading men and see if they’re up to some good, too.

Harrison Ford Paramount Vantage

Aging Hunk:  Harrison Ford 
So, here it is, the first shot of Hot As Ever Harrison, in full Indy getup. Imagine what he’s thinking. Here’s my somewhat-educated guess: 

“I don’t know about this Shia LaBeouf kid. He talks so much about politics and robots that I have to hide out over here just to get some damn peace. Almost makes me think it might have been a little more fun to have Natalie Portman around. Oh well. You know, I also don’t know about this Cate Blanchett. Is it twisted if I kinda like it better when you’re working with a dame like Kate Capshaw and nobody really thinks she knows a damn thing about acting? Oh well. Can we just get on with it already, or is Shia not done teaching that gaffer about Bobby Kennedy yet?”

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

Aging Hunk:  Tom Cruise 
Cruise is busy in Berlin, hiring prosthetic experts for Valkyrie, in which he portrays one-eyed, one-handed Count Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg, who made a failed attempt at assassinating Adolf Hitler. Detail-driven Bryan Singer is producing and directing. And Berthold Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg, son of Stauffenberg, is bitching in the German press. Here are Stauffenberg the Younger's gripes: 

  1.  He doesn’t like Scientology, calls it a “business.”
  2.  He wants Cruise to “leave my father alone.” 
  3. He fears the movie will be “horrible kitsch.” 
  4. He’s heard the stories about Cruise and Steven Spielberg’s ugly fights on the set of War of the Worlds and fears that Control Freak Cruise will try to be the boss of Singer, who ain’t gonna bat his eyelashes and back down on creative differences as if he were Katie Holmes

Okay, fear number four is mine, not the younger Stauffenberg’s. But I’m not that concerned. Singer and Cruise are sure to war it out every now and then—which is why they both might just be on top of their game. And they may have to be. Because now the German military has jumped on the anti-Cruise bandwagon. The German Defense Ministry has blocked Cruise and company from shooting at national military bases because of, gulp, Cruise's Scientology. Das whoa, right?

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