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Why are celebs doing infomercials?

Why are so many celebs doing infomercials? I thought that was a sign of the end of a career, not a highlight.
—Genna, Sylmar, California

The B!tch Replies:  Why, gratitude, of course. Don't you watch those Proactiv skincare infomercials? That stuff saved Kelly Clarkson's face. Saved it, y'all! Now, her face is so glowy she'll have to stop writing all those guitar-shredding country-rock-power-pop songs about guys dumping her. We may never see her weeping in a mud-caked bridal gown again—not when she has the radiance that only Proactiv can bring: Thanks, Proactiv!

Additionally, I am sure Clarkson's involvement had nothing to do with the $2 million that Industry insiders estimate stars are making off of infomercials these days. Nope, nothing at all.

Ditto, I'm certain, for fellow Proactiv pumpers Jessica Simpson, Alicia Keys and P. Diddy. In fact, according to one corporate missive, it was pure appreciation that motivated Lindsay Lohan to do her own Proactiv infomercial—not the $2 million she reportedly made.

Lindsay "felt so strongly about the product she was compelled to share her story." That was how the Proactiv spun it in a recent statement.

Right, right.

All sarcasm aside, remember the Answer B!tch mantra: When in doubt, the answer is money.

These days, infomercial makers are paying big stars millions and offering hundreds of thousands more in back-end percentages, just to pimp their potions or workout gear. And as long as the product isn't a total embarrassment, stars are starting to say, "Why not?"

"The money is gigantic for these stars," says Darren Prince, head of the Prince Marketing Group, which secures celebrity endorsements.

It sounds impossible that marketers could rustle up those big paychecks, given that everything on infomercials seems to sell for $14.99, plus shipping and handling. Then again, sell enough Ginsu knives and ThighMasters for your clients, and eventually you get rich enough to pay Britney whatever she wants. In the case of Proactiv, the marketer is named Guthy-Renker, a respected giant that makes a reported $700 million a year.

"Guthy-Renker has created big brands out of infomercials," explains Peter Koeppel, whose company, Koeppel Direct, helped introduce the world to Hair Club for Men.

"So, now their production quality is really high, they spend $1 million or more shooting these shows and it's an environment celebrities feel comfortable in."

Comfortable...and so, so grateful.

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