The Soup List: Top 5 Things We Learned This Week

It's time for another rundown of your week in Soup. Get it while it's still runny.

• New York’s realest Housewives get together for a reunion, confirming the fact that they still all hate each other.

 • In more Big Apple-related news, New York pours semen into a female pig. Tough to sugarcoat that one, but at least it's pig semen.

 • Where is Debbie Gibson these days? Battling a mega shark and a giant octopus who don’t get along too well. Mandatory summer viewing.

 • Like New York, New Jersey has its own batch of real Housewives, but with thicker accents and smaller boobs.

 • Kevin Federline, Joaquin Phoenix and Spencer Pratt—one of these "talents" claims he is the hottest thing in rap. Though it is a secret.