Oceans Apart
Lisa O?Connor/ZUMAPress.com
It’s all kinds of nice and chummy that single stud George Clooney, cool husband Matt Damon, hub-bot Brad Pitt and lovably old-school Jerry Weintraub got to get their hands and feet wet yesterday in front of the Chinese Theater in Hollywood. It’s a great honor. It sure as hell helps marketing Ocean's Thirteen (not that marketing had anything to do with the little ceremony).
Never mind that the whole event was, according to my eyes, ears and the Los Angeles Times, a little messy. As in disorganized and not so well timed. And never mind that some people—as in dozens of journalizers—were unceremoniously uninvited from the cutesy fun at the last second.
No, yesterday’s applause and concrete got me thinking about how there are more than just four actors involved in Ocean's. So, here are what body parts I’d like to see cemented before throngs of squealing, mascara-laden female fans.
Steve Granitz/WireImage.com
Shaobo Qin's Muscles: How does he do it? No, not quit the Peking Acrobats for a guest stint on CSI in an attempt to get even more fame. I get how he sticks to his guns. I just don’t get how he twists his body...while smiling and seeming genuinely joyful. But then again, I hate yoga.
Warner Bros. Entertainment/Village Roadshow Films (BVI)
Julia Roberts' Fake Belly: Even Clooney has semiknocked Ocean's 12 in the press, saying it didn’t play as well. But hell, I love Ocean's movies. I’ve seen them all dozens of times. Perhaps that’s why I am the lone fan of Twelve. And it’s largely because of the self-indulgent but oh so watchable sequence where Jules’ character pretends to be pregnant Julia Roberts the star and bumps into Bruce Willis. That’s some funny stuff. Go Twelve! Go fake belly!
Warner Bros. Entertainment/Village Roadshow Films (BVI)
Scott Caan's and Catherine Zeta-Jones' Egos: This one time, at a private house party, Scott Caan was totally sitting on this bed with his shirt off. He wasn’t the most famous guy there. That image of him, making himself king in a house that wasn’t his, it stayed with me. It was funny, you wanted to go up and high-five him, like, "I know you are in the right posse. Good for you, kid!" As for C.Z.J., well, at least she has a wee bit more of a license to act like Queen of the World.
Dan Herrick/ZUMAPress.com
Ellen Barkin's Pheromones: Can we just say best choice ever on the part of the producers? And thankfully, they aren’t forcing her to go all Jane Fonda just because she’s over 50 and play some psychopathic mother figure. I love that Barkin is the sex symbol—the smart symbol, the sexy-even-though-her-face-is-not-plump-
with-Botox symbol. Hope springs...through this weekend!





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