Lindsay Lohan Tests Positive for Cocaine, as Well as Some Other Stuff We Made Up

Lindsay Lohan was officially high on cocaine when she was pulled over for a DUI back in 2007. Yes, according to documents, Lindsay's urine tested positive for the devil's dandruff.

But was that the only thing it tested positive for? Probably. But that's not going to stop us here at the Soup blog from pretending that it wasn't. Other things Lindsay's urine tested positive for include...

Hydrogen peroxide
Wilmer Valderritis
Early Onset Middleageism
Wilmer Valderrama
Middle Onset Earlyageism
Ebola
The Parent Clap
The Antidote to Ebola
Daddy issues

and...

Urine

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Scandalous, isn't it? There's more where that came from in this celebrity gallery.

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