Incomplete Top 10: My Boss Sucks

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Let us bow down to the moronic, sadistic dirtbags who hold the keys to the corporate washroom. Yep, it's time to praise the bosses from hell. No, Office Space's luminously loopy Gary Cole is not on this list. He wasn't vicious—he was just a dippy douche. Still mad, are ya? Then make like Gordon Gekko and rant it up in the Comments section.

1. Swimming with Sharks:  The Hollywood talent agent (Kevin Spacey) prefers Equal over Sweet'N Low. So already we know he is a dummy. But he's a sadistic dummy. His assistant (Frank Whaley) is one of the most sympathetic dudes of all time, just trying to do his job and learn a thing or two, but subject to a never-ending barrage of physical and verbal abuse. The Equal incident was the worst. He deserved to be tied up, hell yes.

20TH CENTURY FOX/ Zuma Press

2. Nine to Five:  Before there was grrl power there were a few good women—Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda—who tried to make it in corporate America. But the stacks were against them, mainly because of their lecherous, deceitful, ass-grabbby boss, Franklin M. Hart Jr. (Dabney Coleman). If I worked for Mr. Hart, I would have kidnapped him and hoisted his misogynist ass into an electronic rig, too.

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3. The Best of Everything:  The magazine business has always been bitchy, even way back in 1959 when this caustic comedy debuted. Adulterous, hypocritical, passive-aggressive editor Amanda Farrow (Joan Crawford) puts a certain Devil and her Prada to shame. See this movie and tell me I'm wrong.

New Line Cinema

4. Glengarry Glen Ross:  As if it isn't already hard enough being a salesman, along comes a man who sets a ticking time bomb on the counter and pisses away the last vestiges of confidence. Oh, by the way, if you can't pull it together and man up, you're out of work. Writer David Mamet just plain gets why jobs suck. And as the harbinger of doom, Alec Baldwin utters some of the best lines: "Put that coffee down. Coffee is for closers only." "You think this is abuse, you cocksucker?" Yep, it sure is.

5. The Secret of My Succe$s:  What, '80s fluff, you say? Oh, stop it! The deliciously smarmy Howard Prescott (Richard Jordan) cheats on his gorgeous, charismatic wife and condescends to his bright, sugar-puss nephew Brantley (Michael J. Fox). Unforgivable crimes plus unforgivably greasy hair equals corporate hell.

Twentieth Century Fox

6. Raising Arizona:  While you may not think of this film and think bosses, work is one of the great themes of the Coen Brothers' masterpiece. Ex-con H.I. McDunnough (Nicolas Cage) can't fit in to society, and his god-awful foreman (Sam McMurray) sure doesn't help. He comes over for a barbecue, lets his kids destroy the house and, best of all, proposes some wife-swapping. On top of that, he can't even tell a simple guy-walks-into-a-bar joke. Does it get any worse?

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7. Working Girl:  Women are horrible to women. It's one of the saddest, truest rules of the workplace. And no movie captured the street-smart girl vs. book-smart girl war like Working Girl. Watching Sigourney Weaver's Shalimar-adoring vamp try and eat Melanie Griffith's noble Staten Island girl for breakfast will never get old. It's also a movie that will make you want to work harder, especially because perks include Harrison Ford.

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8. The Apartment:  It's trite to say, but I'll say it anyway: They don't make 'em like this anymore. This Americana light fare reminds audiences of the one problem with capitalism: other people's goals. Jeff D. Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray) walks all over his crafty, generous worker bee (Jack Lemmon) and messes with the girl (Shirley MacLaine) of the worker bee's dreams. Bonus: The movie was made long before Jerry Springer came along.

9. The Devil Wears Prada:  Runway magazine editor Miranda Priestly throws her purse at you. She sniffs at your wardrobe. She won't even remember your name. She will ask you to get her twins the latest Harry Potter book…before it comes out. Yes, Anne Hathaway's perky, malleable assistant had it rough trying to impress her boss, who ended every conversation by sighing, "That's all." But because layered, wise Meryl Streep portrays Priestly, we don't hate her that much in the end. Wait. Should Miranda even be on this list? Hmmm.

10. You tell me!  Who'd I miss? Let loose in the Comments.