Incomplete Top 10: Kidnappin' Capers!

Miramax

There are no fewer than 8,986 great things to say about Ben Affleck's stunning directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone. We could praise Ben for his extras casting, his decision to play a Masshole anthem/Guns N' Roses song softly at just the right time and his facility with Amy Ryan and Casey Affleck, who shine. But right now, let us focus on another brilliant element of Gone: the kidnapping.

The kidnap can be so cheesy. (Can any of you say the words Not Without My Daughter without cracking a smile?) The kidnap can be scary as hell. (Thank you, Saw, for making me lock my doors during the day.) And the kidnap can be moving, as it is here in Gone. It's damn tough to single out only 10 films to put on this list, and it's even tougher to pick only nine. So, as always, leave your ransom note, and make your demands in the Comments section. As long as your ransom note doesn't involve Sally Field, we're all good.

Paramount Pictures

1. Breakdown:  Also known as Kurt Russell Is the Manliest Man Alive and Should Give Manly Lessons to Orlando Bloom and Jake Gyllenhaal, Breakdown is a taut thriller—and just dang scary. A couple's car breaks down, the wife vanishes and it seems like an entire small town is in on it. Breakdown is an unlikely classic, rough and simple as denim.

MGM

2. Misery:  The next time you flip through Celebrity Crap Weekly and feel bitter that you're not famous, rent this Stephen King story about a writer (James Caan) and his number one fan, Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates). See? Fame has a dark side, replete with porcelain figurines, needles full of sedatives, false-bottom phones and, oh, yes, a sledgehammer.

Stephen Vaughan/SMPSP/20th Century Fox

3. Man on Fire:  If we all woke up every day as tortured and fierce as bodyguard Denzel Washington, this world would be a scary, scary place. But let's also give it up for Dakota Fanning, as she hones her cuteness, and we really believe she and her bodyguard have a connection when he goes on a little-girl hunt to find her. And Marc Anthony makes your skin crawl.

4. Ruthless People:  So, you've been kidnapped, your 'nappers (Judge Reinhold and Helen Slater) are weak, your rich husband (Danny DeVito) can afford the ransom and you're tough—Bette Midler tough. Easy, right? But wait, hubby won't pay the ransom?! Hysterical and hyperbolic, People paints kidnapping as the opportunity of a lifetime—for weight loss and self-actualization.

Twentieth Century Fox

5. Raising Arizona:  The Coen brothers' most genius film is on yet another list, because H.I. (Nicolas Cage) and his honey, Edwina (Holly Hunter), a decorated officer of the law, need a baby. They can't reproduce, because Edwina is "barren." They can't adopt, on account of H.I.'s "checkered" past. But there is one thing they can do. They take one from a family that has "more than they can handle." Yes, kidnappers are people, too...good people.

6. Overboard:  Technically, it's an amnesia movie. A carpenter (Kurt Russell) is disgusted by the wealthy, spoiled brat (Goldie Hawn) who hired him to remodel her closet. So, when she falls off her yacht and can't remember her own name, he takes her in and convinces her she is an impoverished homemaker. Because this is an '80s fantasy, kidnapping is good for all parties, who live happily ever after.

Gramercy Pictures

7. Fargo:  Indebted Oldsmobile dealer Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) needs cash, so he concocts a ransom scam and hires goons (Peter Stormare and Steve Buscemi) to kidnap his wife. And then comes the bumbling, the bloodshed, the flat accents and the cheery pregnant policewoman (Frances McDormand) who, somehow, sees all. Mesmerizing and insanely appealing, Fargo is kooky comfort food.

8. The Vanishing:  Don't talk to me about the Dutch original—I've seen it, and I prefer this one, which features Jeff Bridges as the sicko and Kiefer Sutherland in pre-24 heated, obsessive pursuit. He has never recovered from the day his wife (Sandra Bullock) disappeared from a gas station, and we see the world through his obsessed, focused gaze. Always petrifying, Vanishing is pulpy-artsy and always more satisfying than an Ashley Judd detective story.

9. Savannah Smiles:  Unlike I Know My First Name Is Steven, the based-on-reality TV movie that scared the daylights out of many kids, Savannah is a whimsyfest. This 1982 comedy, about a little girl (Bridgette Andersen) who winds up in the care of thugs, would never be made in today's heightened-alert culture. (Gun-toting criminals are way fun babysitters!) Innocent Savannah is truly an artifact, as culturally on point as the more serious, and obviously better, Gone Baby Gone is for today's fearsome times.

10. You Tell Us!  What's the best kidnap caper out there? Sound off...