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Drew Romance

Drew Barrymore Dan Herrick/ZUMApress.com

Don’t you love it when actors bitch about each other? I recently spoke with one of Drew Barrymore’s costars. Can’t tell you which movie they did together (just that he wasn’t the leading man). Can tell you what he said: “We knew the movie wasn’t going to work because she has no chemistry with men. She closes off. You can’t play with her. She only has chemistry with women. Everyone says so.”

Interesting, especially because Drew just gave New York magazine her take on romantic comedies: “You don’t necessarily need sexual chemistry.” 

So, which is it? Let’s get all scientific and break out the chem-o-meter to rate Drew’s onscreen sparks:

Wedding Singer New Line Cinema

The Wedding SingerThe future Mrs. Julia Gulia lights up every time Adam Sandler’s man-child looks her way. Does it matter? Well, duh. The ‘80s were never funnier—or sexier. Sexual chemistry:  9

Never Been Kissed 20th Century Fox

Never Been KissedDrew and Michael Vartan definitely seem hot for each other. Of course, real-life Michael has the reputation of a guy who gets hot for a lot of girls. But never mind that. Does it matter? Yep. When she’s waiting on that baseball field for her first kiss, I still get all verklempt. Sexual chemistry:  8

50 First Dates Columbia Pictures

50 First DatesOh, come on. Drew and Sandler are best friends. Soul mates? Eh, not so much. Does it matter? No. Sean Astin and the rest of the supporting cast are so funny that you’re laughing too much to care. Sexual chemistry:  5

Fever Pitch Fox 2000

Fever PitchSure, she plays an uptight math wiz, but Drew never really conveys that za-za-zoom for Jimmy Fallon. Does it matter? As a Red Sox fan, I watch Fever over and over again to relive the glory of that season. Half the time I forget there’s even a love story. Oops. Sexual chemistry:  2

Music & Lyrics Warner Bros Entertainment

Music & LyricsI don’t ever believe that Drew and Hugh Grant wanna jump into bed together. Does it matter? Yes. The whole time, I’m like, screw the damn song and just give up so the audience can go home already. Sexual chemistry:  0

Hey, wait a minute...I'm seeing a trend here. According to these numbers, Drew’s chemistry ratings get worse over time. And her next two projects—Lucky You and Grey Gardens—are a departure from laugh land. Wow. She is smart.

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