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Are You Smarter Than a Gossip Columnist? Slutty Edition!

Thu., Nov. 12, 2009 1:00 PM PST by Ted Casablanca

Stephan Lovekin/Getty Images, James Devaney/Getty Images, Fame Pictures

There's a rather sexy (though often reviled) gal who's currently toying with her latest partner, perhaps in a dubious way.

Her friends are telling us not only does this ultracelebrated babe know exactly what she's doing with her most recent bedmate, but the nooky pro is qualified to start a damn website for how best to use men and women like they're the latest Prada bags, or something.

So which vet stud-eater is it? Think you're so smart, eh?

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Answer: Madonna, duh!

When we inquired deep within Camp Big M about how Madge's meeting just went with her boyfriend's mother went down in Brazil, we were told not only did Jesus' mom "love" meeting the former Mrs. Ritchie, but that Jesus was, indeed, "really into" his reported GF.

However, we suggested perhaps something more postdivorce and career conniving was at work between the 50-ish Madonna and her far-younger kid accoutrement, who's an aspiring model.

"Look," we were advised rather crisply, "Madonna knows what she's doing. She's been around penises before, she certainly knows what to do with them, and this one's really into her."

So glad to know! And how sweet that the penis' mother approves, too fab for words!

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Think Madonna and Jesus are gonna end up in our Most Dysfunctional Celeb Couples gallery? Check it out to see who’s made the list!