"He's gonna kiss her."
"I think she hates him."
After a beautiful wedding, a long montage of weddings, a whole bunch of people endlessly talking about how great this franchise is, and one intense but interesting and important discussion, Bachelor in Paradise is back to business as usual.
That business, as usual, has to do with Amanda being pursued by annoying men when she'd clearly rather be doing anything else. This time it was Alex, who doffed his shirt and flexed his muscles and did his best to confuse Amanda with endless run-on sentences.
While we felt bad for Amanda, the rest of Paradise really stepped it up in the mocking department. Alexis and Vinny did some beautiful if completely inaccurate impressions of the pair, and Dean assessed that Amanda has no tolerance for annoying things. Eventually, Alex backed off, but hopefully there's more Alex mocking in our future.
Lacey made her way through the men, fearing that she had no one to date or any group to hang out with. Apparently Iggy's "full of s--t" and Diggy's not romantic enough, and her dream is for Canadian Daniel to show up, because he's apparently the "full package." Something tells us she's gonna get her wish.
Meanwhile, Derek and Taylor had a date (snooze) and Jasmine tried to convince Matt to take their mics off and go hang out somewhere. He wasn't into it, which made her mad.
Then, Dean and Kristina seemed cool, until he pulled her aside to to figure something out, but he couldn't really say what that was. He didn't feel good about anything, and Kristina went back to the bar in tears.
Tonight's episode also featured the beautiful wedding of Carly Waddell and Evan Bass, who fell in love during season three of BIP.
But before we could even get to the wedding, we spent half an hour reminiscing. First, we rehashed Evan and Carly's hilarious courtship on Bachelor in Paradise last season—including Evan "faking his own death"—as the wedding party prepared for the ceremony.
Then, we thought Evan and Carly's wedding was starting, but it was actually trip down memory lane of all the Bachelor nation weddings, intercut with Bachelor nation members gushing about how great this show is and how love is real and and it's so worth it.
While it wasn't totally out of place, it did feel a little weird coming right before the show was finally set to address a major scandal, and it felt a little pointed. Emotional and sweet, but also pointed.
Anyway, Carly and Evan were their lovable weirdo selves, even in their vows, and it was all very sweet. It was also very sweet to see Kaitlyn and Shawn in the audience, which reminds us...when's their televised wedding and spinoff reality show? And how much money do we need to throw at ABC to make those things happen?
Hear what Carly and Evan have learned about each other since they left Paradise in the video above, and don't miss them dishing on their wedding and upcoming baby, either!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.