Review in a Hurry: You don't mess with the Zohan...because it's already pretty messed up. This unwieldy, frequently appalling comedy is a mishmash of skit characters run amok, hyperbolic Naked Gun-style sight gags, raunchy humor and faint stabs at relevance.
The Bigger Picture: You Don't Mess With the Zohan is like a hellacious bad-hair day—unkempt, unsightly and mildly embarrassing at best. Adam Sandler stars as Zohan, a superhumanly studly Israeli counterterrorist type who treats bullets like houseflies. But Zohan dreams of pursuing a more peaceful life as a hairstylist. When he fakes his own death and heads off to NYC to find his bliss, the mayhem he left behind comes crawling after him.
Zohan's comic formula is simple: Accents are funny; older women are horny; hummus is inexplicably an inexhaustible fountain of humor. What might have been one-off chuckles in a better, funnier movie are here turned into merciless running gags that collapse well in advance of the finish line.
And then there's the elephant in the room: topicality. It would take a fine balance to make light of the Israel-Palestine conflict. Unfortunately for Zohan, Sandler jumps on the tightrope like it's a trampoline, trying (and failing) to pry a few laughs out of Hezbollah jokes and an uninspiring, predictable he-said, she-said, can't-we-all-just-get-along conclusion.
For all his character's yearning for style, Sandler might as well be cutting hair with a chainsaw.
The 180—a Second Opinion: It's the script that's the major letdown here, not the performances. Sandler is frequently funny and charming, and his confrontations with his goofy Palestinian counterpart (John Turturro) are entertaining exercises in scenery chewing.