Review in a Hurry: This heist pic is loosely based on a true story involving amateurish criminals hired by a supermodel to rob a bank for the British secret service. No spoilers here, this is all clear from the jump. The only mystery in The Bank Job is how such a wild yet grounded premise turns into a crashing bore.
The Bigger Picture: Jason Statham should be kicking himself for signing on as the lead in this tepid, uninspired project that does nothing other than prove that the British badass can't automatically propel a crime thriller into watchability (example: The Transporter).
To be fair, The Bank Job looks good on paper. It has real-life scandal (naughty snaps of a royal!), surplus villains (secret agents! faux-revolutionist slumlords! porn kings!), plot twists galore and, you know, a bank robbery. But like its cut-rate heroes, an ad hoc gang of petty criminals wholly out of their depth, this Job lacks in the only place that counts: execution.
There's no style, flash or flow to these proceedings—the story proceeds as if by rote, a recital of events that's always a few paces behind any able-minded viewer.
The assorted nefarious types offer glorious opportunities for memorable characters, but even Statham seems too tired to do anything other than drag the cast along by a leash. Yes, there's a lot going on in The Bank Job, but there's a lot going on in a kettle that's about to boil too; that doesn't make watching it any less of a chore.
The 180—a Second Opinion: Given that it's the dead zone for quality pictures, there are worse ways to kill two hours at the cinema this weekend. But you could still get more excitement out of working a shift on the concession stand.