Colin Farrell's Manscaping Story Is So Funny It Brings Ellen DeGeneres to Near Tears

"I looked down and I had a little landing strip—a lovely, lovely little landing strip," he recalls

By Zach Johnson May 08, 2017 5:00 PMTags
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Colin Farrell had a lot to celebrate on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Monday.

"Congratulations," Ellen DeGeneres told her guest, who is 10 years sober. "You look fantastic."

Farrell, who will turn 41 May 31, said he loves "getting older," with one exception: "Getting hair in strange places and losing hair in not-so-strange places a bit. It's kind of an inversion that's unfavorable. I robbed that from Billy Crystal in City Slickers, by the way, for anyone who cares."

The actor brought up body hair again while playing DeGeneres' "Celebrity Confession" game.

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"I was doing my first American film [Tigerland], I think in the year 2000. There was a sex scene in it, and I was very nervous because I'd never done a sex scene. Now they're just a walk in the park...not really. They're always uncomfortable, he said. "Anyway, I went to the director, Joel Schumacher, and I had a dressing gown on and nothing underneath. I was obviously so nervous that I lost my mind for a second, because I opened my dress and I said, 'Is it a bit...?' Because, like most men, I had what you could refer to as 'retro bush'...and Joel, the director, went, 'Oh.'"

To fix the problem, Farrell asked the hair and makeup team if he could borrow a beard trimmer. "I don't know if they ever used the beard trimmer after. I went into my trailer, I got a bin and I put it [below my groin]. I was nervous and I trimmed the right side a little bit, and obviously I had to match it, so I trimmed the left. But I overshot the mark by a little bit, so I had to get back in and approach the right again. I overshot that, and at this stage, I was sweating. I went back in and re-approached the landing on the left, and then I looked down and I had a little landing strip—a lovely, lovely little landing strip," Farrell recalled. "I didn't get my full frontal after all."

DeGeneres was near tears from laughing so hard.

Farrell's hilarious confession resulted in Shutterfly donating $10,000 to his son's school, The CHIME Institute, which the Beguiled actor described as "an amazing, fully inclusive" institution.