It was called The Bachelor: Women Tell All, but did the women tell all?
We can't tell. We were actually a little bored. They really could have just had Corinne sitting on those couches all by herself, with occasional visits from Liz and Taylor, and we would have been pretty happy.
In fact, we'd like to declare Corinne the winner of the night. We don't know how she did it, but over the course of the season, she went from being the most irritating contestant to being our favorite contestant possibly of all time, and tonight she only made us love her more.
She put Taylor in her place once again (in a feud we're so over), pointing out that she had nothing bad to say about Taylor until Taylor started attacking her, and all the other women agreed that Taylor seemed to have some sort of superiority complex. Taylor was eventually made to apologize to Corinne, and Corinne kindly forgave her.
Poor Taylor apparently has struggled in her counseling career since the show aired, but maybe she should have thought of that before going on The Bachelor at all?
And then Corinne got to defend both her naps and her nanny, and we found ourselves on her side once again. Naps are great (not sure why we ever questioned that in the first place), and Raquel also sounds great. She's not just Corinne's nanny, she's like her second mom, and she doesn't deserve our scorn.
Corinne's also totally cool with Nick, and thanked him for the time they spent together. Thank you, Corinne, for the time we got to spend with you. You were a joy, most of the time, sometimes. We could all benefit from being a little more like you, maybe.
Elsewhere, Kristina inspired all of the women to start building each other up instead of tearing each other down, which was a lovely sentiment, and a bunch of randos whose names we've already forgotten confronted Nick about why they went home. "I tried my best," he said, which is a pretty honest statement.
We also heard from Liz, who was back to remind us that she was the one who had slept with Nick at Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert's wedding. She claimed she was just on the show in order to see if there was a spark with Nick, and there wasn't. So that's cool, but we already forgot about you, girl. Bye!
Finally, Rachel took the hot seat, and the room erupted in applause, especially from the many women on the couches. They were so excited about Rachel as the Bachelorette that they could not contain themselves, or stop themselves from talking over each other about how cool and smart and kind and charismatic she is. Hopefully this is all genuine love for a gal who seems to be a genuine person, and hopefully her season of The Bachelorette is going to be incredible.
The Bachelor finale airs next Monday at 8 p.m. on ABC.