Bella Hadid always gives perfect face—even when the thoughts behind her smile are heavy ones.
"When I love somebody, I love them with my whole heart," said the 20-year-old model said in a revealing new interview with Teen Vogue for their "Love Issue," in which she admits that her breakup with The Weekndlast year did take its toll, even if she maintained a stoic front in public and on social media.
"It was my first breakup—or second, next to the horse—and so public," Bella, who in addition to being all over New York Fashion Week sister Gigi Hadid is also an accomplished equestrienne, said. "As an outsider, you might think I handled it so well, but it's always in your heart, and you always feel it very heavily."
She added, "It'll be hard for a while. Love hurts, but you have to pull through."
Daniel Jackson/ Teen Vogue
The horse she was referring to, meanwhile, is named Lego and he actually came along long before The Weeknd did. He was her favorite competition horse, she explained, "my main, my ride or die," but her family sold him after her Lyme disease diagnosis forced her to give up her goal of training for the Olympics.
Bella has been open about her battle with Lyme disease, an infection caused by a tick bite that is treatable but can trigger severe health consequences; mom Yolanda Hadid also suffered from the disease.
So the kid knows something about strength and taking care of herself.
Daniel Jackson/ Teen Vogue
She nailed her Victoria's Secret Fashion Show debut last November—a debut she had to make when The Weeknd was right there performing. As in, while she walked.
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret
Bella became somewhat of a social media idol when it comes to the picture of her rocking the Victoria's Secret lingerie on stage while her ex performed like it was no big deal, the kind of moment almost anybody who's been through a breakup has probably fantasized about.
She told E! News at the time that she and the singer, who's now dating Selena Gomez, remained close despite the split.
"There is no awkwardness. He is my best friend, and I am excited because I am walking during his performance," Bella said.
A source told us that the "I Feel It Coming" singer sent Bella a token of his affection to her hotel room in Paris to wish her luck before the big show, and they had been talking and texting.
It's unclear whether he had stepped out with Selena yet when Bella talked to Teen Vogue, but either way, she maturely and gracefully told the mag, "I'll always respect him, and I'll always love him. Sometimes you want to be sad about it or handle it differently, but at the end of the day, you never want to burn a bridge that you've fought so hard to build."