"I am pretty sure I am a doppelgänger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man. I’m so painfully insecure. I’m on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed. I’m scared.”
—Transformers hottie Megan Fox
"In the next life I am marryin’ you. I am sayin' it to you. You are my woman. You got to be able to cook collard greens, and the potato salad got to be good. Our baby would look better than Kimora Lee’s babies."
—30 Rock’s Tracy Morgan, to E!’s Giuliana Rancic