"I am pretty sure I am a doppelgänger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man. I’m so painfully insecure. I’m on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed. I’m scared.”
—Transformers hottie Megan Fox
"In the next life I am marryin’ you. I am sayin' it to you. You are my woman. You got to be able to cook collard greens, and the potato salad got to be good. Our baby would look better than Kimora Lee’s babies."
—30 Rock’s Tracy Morgan, to E!’s Giuliana Rancic
“Last time I came to the Golden Globes, I missed the food, 'cause they take the plates away before the ceremony starts! No one told me that! So I ate bread and chocolate from the table. You have got to get in there early if you want the dinner.”
—The Office's Jenna Fischer
"It was gonna be an hour, at least, to get in, so I jumped out [of the limo], jaywalked across Wilshire, cops everywhere. Then they wouldn’t let me in ‘cause I didn’t have credentials. I actually walked around, snuck around the back way and made the interview. I am MacGyver."
—House's Jesse Spencer, on how he got to the Globes
"They had you on the cover of a magazine. You were groping some woman."
—30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin, chatting with Ryan Seacrest about recent reading material
"I have a gold urinal in my trailer, and I’m the only one who can use it."
—The Office’s Creed Bratton, when asked who is the biggest diva on the sitcom's set
“They all go back tonight, unless—I love this, Fred; if you want to give it to me, I would be very happy to have it. I would wear it all the time.”
—Susan Sarandon, on the Fred Leighton diamond necklace she was loaned for the evening
“You can’t see certain bits of the lady, so you end up with the director coming up to you saying, ‘Dude...so, can we have your little buttocks going up and down?’ ”
—True Blood's Stephen Moyer, on the rules of nudity and sex scenes