Getty ImagesThe Real Housewives of New York City did what Real Housewives shows do best: It had an incredibly dramatic dinner party for the record books. The events at Joanne's derailed after Luann de Lesseps bailed. For some reason, Jules Wainstein believed the women should not be talking about Luann and her "private life" because the Countess bailed. Jules still does not know how this show works. Carole Radziwill tried to clue her in.
"Because we're her friends, so that's what friends do: They talk about their friends when they're not here…Everyone does that," Carole said. It's true. It's so true. Jules said her friends don't. That's delusion.
Anyway, that's when the screaming started. Jules took issue with Bethenny Frankel for…well, she couldn't quite decide. Apparently Bethenny didn't check in with Jules enough when she hurt her vagina.
"What do you want me to do? Sit outside your window with a boom box and serenade you and your vagina? I texted you. I've got my own vagina problems," Bethenny said. And, not to pick sides, but Bethenny's vaginal issues were a little more serious than whatever Jules did to hers that made her go see a plastic surgeon to make sure it went back to the "perfect pistachio." Once she moved on from that, Jules said Bethenny's sense of humor means she attacks people and is at the expense of others. She also said Bethenny called her stupid. The utensil-filled calzone came up again.
"My sense of humor revolves around laughing and saying funny things. And you, you're a self-deprecator. You opened the door, plus you have a lot of things to say about everybody else being old. I'm not even buying this bullshit," Bethenny said.
Once she moved on from the sense of humor argument, Jules said Bethenny was talking about her marriage to Michael, which, well, she wasn't. If you keep up with the drama, you know there is stuff to talk about, but Bethenny said she did not spread it around. And once she couldn't make any headway with accusing Bethenny about spreading marriage trouble rumors, Jules said Bethenny and Carole were talking about her eating disorder behind her back. She also admitted to having a relapse with her bulimia three days prior to the disastrous dinner they were currently sitting down for.
"If you don't want your friends talking about it out of concern, then don't talk about it," Carole said.
Again, Jules doesn't understand the show it seems.
Bethenny was quick to admit she has kept Jules at a distance because of her childhood and her mother's own eating disorder. Can you fault her? She knows the disease and everything that comes along with it. "I'm allowed to protect myself," she told Jules.
Later in the episode, Jules seemed like she was acting victorious. What dinner was she at? She repeatedly declared she was no longer going to share private details with Carole and Bethenny and was congratulated for speaking her mind.
Meanwhile, Ramona Singer declared they would all go to Mohegan Sun for gambling and drinking. Luann got engaged—the ladies found out via the press—Carole had a pizza party with Adam, Bethenny and Dorinda Medley, and Sonja Morgan had a dinner party where Jules set her up on a blind date with a dude she already knew.
Once they were on a bus to the casino, Sonja and Bethenny made peace—Bethenny apologized and Sonja seemed to truly understand what set her off in the first place regarding Tipsy Girl. Bethenny was not having Jules. At all. This is clearly not over and you can bet it's going to come up again at the reunion.
"Jules is on the bus, which is like there's a ficus plant in the corner of the bus. I'm not even angry at her, I just don't really care. Let's just have fun," Bethenny said.
Please, have fun.
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal.)