Getty Images; HBOHave you ever thought to yourself, "A guide to Game of Thrones narrated by Samuel L. Jackson is just what I need in life"? Well, you're in luck because HBO has just gifted the Internet a Game of Thrones beginner's guide, a recap of the first five seasons which are on iTunes, narrated by…Samuel L. Jackson.
Of course since it's Samuel L. Jackson uncensored, there are more f-bombs than dragons in the recap below. Prepare yourselves: It's good. Haven't you always wanted to hear the Oscar nominated actor talk about the seasons of love Westeros and warn viewers not to get attached to the Starks? You haven't lived until you've heard Jackson describe Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) as a "motherf—ker."
If you're not sold on this yet, just take this description of what's going on with Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and the Night's Watch: "Over on that big ice wall, Jon Snow, Ned's illegitimate son, and the rest of the Night's Watch are really getting worried about the Wildlings on the other side and…these motherf—kers are cold."
Jackson stops short on getting into the big stuff, like Jon Snow's season five moment and subsequent season six reveal. As if you don't know what we're talking about...
And for all those who watch Game of Thrones for the dragons, there's this at the very end: "OK, yeah, we have dragons. After all that, you're still stuck on these f--king dragons? OK, you want to see a dragon motherf--ker? OK, here you f--king go. You happy now?"
Game of Thrones will return for a seventh season…eventually. It just might be delayed.