StarzAaahhhh!
That's how we feel after the end of tonight's Outlander, which ended on quite the cliffhanger. Jamie (Sam Heughan) was under arrest, Claire (Caitriona Balfe) was possibly in the midst of a miscarriage, and Black Jack Randall (Tobias Menzies) was lying on the grass, possibly dying after being STABBED IN THE PENIS.
That last part deserves all caps because OH MAN. If Randall's not dead, his chances of having kids certainly are (which is...intriguing). Despite Claire's best attempts to get Black Jack out of the way and Jamie out of the mood to kill the guy, the two ended up in a duel anyway, and it was brutal. They were fairly evenly matched, right up until Jamie rammed his sword right into Randall's crotch, which happened just before the authorities showed up to stop the very illegal fight, which happened at the exact same time that Claire was collapsing on the ground, writhing in pain, and losing a lot of blood.
That's not even all that happened tonight! Murtagh (Duncan Lacroix) got all understandably angry when he learned that Jamie was refusing to duel Black Jack, and insulted him by comparing him to "a woman in flux." The poor guy was also totally not into Claire's plan to bring down the Comte St. Germain (Stanley Weber) and Charles Stuart (Andrew Gower) with fake small pox, so it was finally time to bring him in on the Frasers' little secret.
Murtagh is now fully aware of Claire's past/future, and while he was totally stunned and didn't entirely understand it, he was definitely intrigued, and he was on board with the plan. While we cannot remember this happening in the book (and please let us know if we're wrong), it kinda feels like it was about time for him to be filled in.
Of course, instead of the fake small pox immediately causing the Comte's ships to burn, St. Germain and Charles begged Jamie to transport the wine instead, while the "infected" crewmen were hidden away. This created an opportunity for Murtagh to recruit a few men to steal the cargo along the way, and to make it look like Jamie was saving the Comte St. Germain's life in the process.
At the same time, Claire was fed up during another tea and gossip sesh with the ladies, and had to leave to get away from their horrible comments. It seems that Claire's time in French high society has just about run its course, and while we've loved this first half of the season, we must admit we're looking forward to getting out of France and back to Scotland.
Aside from all of that, Claire learned that the king is planning on sentencing all of those accused of the dark arts, so she ran to Maester Raymond to urge him to get out of the city to protect himself, but we'll have to wait until next week to find out how all of that shakes out.
And finally, in a truly heartbreaking scene before all the terrible events at the end of tonight's episode, Jamie asked Claire to make him a promise, just an episode after she made him promise not to kill Black Jack. Basically, if Jamie dies, Claire will go back through the stones to Frank, which only served to remind us of those heartbreaking scenes that opened the season, and some certain long-awaited book scenes we have yet to glimpse.
As much as the potential fate of Jamie upsets us, the prospect of those scenes makes us practically giddy, and we cannot wait.
Outlander airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. on Starz.