Getty ImagesSelena Gomez and Orlando Bloom are both the Helen of Troy of celebrities. They've launched a thousand rumors, ignited some hand-to-hand combat and, perhaps, left a few lovely maidens cursing their names.
We're just past the two-year mark since they first met and, for a couple of hot Hollywood types who are not dating, drama sure still seems to follow them wherever they go.
A situation they could alleviate by not looking so overly chummy during nights out in Vegas, but they haven't opted for that plan yet; so here we are, studying all of the crazy coincidences that have occurred since they became friends.
First of all, they share a manager. People who share managers tend to meet. Some even socialize.
Orlando, 39, and Selena, 23, first met at We Day California in March 2014, an annual conference in the Bay Area that aims to empower and inspire young people to get involved and effect change in their communities and beyond.
Bloom and Miranda Kerr had separated five months beforehand and Gomez, who would go on to visit Nepal as a UNICEF ambassador in May, was also seemingly in the process of reconciling once again with Justin Bieber.
So lots going on. But even though they were out in a group, Selena and Orlando's night out for dinner and some stand-up comedy in April 2014 still prompted immediate are-they-dating speculation.
"They are not dating," a source flatly told E! News at the time. Not long afterward, in fact, Bloom was linked to model Laura Paine; but Kerr was the one who cleared up that rumor, insisting they were "just friends" and, as co-parents of son Flynn, she talked to the actor every day—so she would know.
But now that we think about it (for the thousandth time), the fact that Bloom's ex and Gomez's ex had also been the subject of hookup rumors after supposedly looking flirty at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show before Kerr and Bloom even split...what a small world!
So when Bloom took a swing at Bieber in the middle of a packed Ibiza restaurant in July 2014, the party line was that Bieber reportedly made some crude remark about Kerr (a Bieber source denied that, insisting it was Bloom who initiated all d-baggery). Was it a coincidence that the ex whom Bieber still posts throwback pics of to this day had recently gotten friendly with Bloom as well?
Not even Stephen Colbert thought so.
It was a golden time for antics.
Fast-forward to October 2014, and Gomez was still fielding questions about Bloom, her answers still amounting to "just friends." Also that month, Bloom told paparazzi when asked if he was dating Gomez, "No man, we were just attending We Day together. You heard of We Day? You should check it out."
The argument that acquaintances in Hollywood could actually be platonic was strengthened in February 2015 when Selena, Orlando and Miranda all attended the Vanity Fair Oscars party without incident. (If Bieber had been there, then all bets would've been off, but this trio behaved themselves.)
Also that winter, Selena hit the studio with Zedd and appeared in his "I Want You to Know" video, which premiered a couple weeks after the Oscars; she would later say that she "definitely had a thing with him, which was nice." Indeed!
In June 2015, Bloom seemed to be romancing Brazilian actress Luisa Moraes, and by July 2015 everything was so chill that Selena had built up to spending time poolside with Bieber during the day and hanging with Bloom at night.
Gomez continued to hang out off and on with Bieber for the rest of the year, despite having pinpointed a moment in November 2014 as the moment she started to move on. But she also insisted that she and the Biebs were nothing more than friends, and she's been sticking to that story, even when he would veer toward the nostalgic.
Selena successfully faked it till she made it, though, because by the time she sat down with Rolling Stone toward the end of 2015, she was over talking about Justin.
And throughout she had remained friends with Bloom, wishing "Orly" a happy birthday in January.
Meanwhile...
After bouncing between hot and cold with John Mayer for years, Katy Perry appeared to be starting a new chapter of her own when she was spotted looking cozy with Bloom at a 2016 Golden Globes after-party.
That night spawned a series of increasingly serious dates, as well as a Hawaiian vacation, and in March there came word that Bloom and Perry were indeed a couple!
But because it's a small world after all, let us take a moment to digress.
Despite having ostensibly played the villainous, possibly Perry-inspired character in Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" video, Gomez had historically remained super-friendly with Perry.
Asked if she called the "Dark Horse" singer specifically to assuage any concerns about the "Bad Blood" portrayal, Selena told New Zealand radio show The Edge Afternoons last June, "That's false, I love Katy. I just talked to her, she's amazing. But I didn't talk about that, but I just talked to her. She's awesome."
High praise for Katy! Moreover, that was Selena remaining noticeably neutral while BFF Taylor's beef with Katy simmered over a low flame.
And back to 2016...
Asked what she thought of her ex now dating Perry, Miranda Kerr told E! News in March that she was "happy" for Bloom's happiness—and that so long as Flynn was OK, she was OK.
The Australian model has also been dating billionaire Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel for some months now, so Kerr's probably happy for her own happiness too. And rightfully so!
So when she, Bloom and Perry all attended the 2016 Met Gala this month, there was zero word of any awkwardness, either at the main event or at any after-party. Gomez, meanwhile, paired up with Kerr in the big group shot of all the biggest celebs (minus Taylor Swift, who was co-chairing the event and therefore quite busy) who wore Louis Vuitton that night.
Perry and Bloom made their way to The Weeknd and Naomi Campbell's party at The Up & Down, and later packed on the PDA at the big Boom Boom Room bash hosted by Apple.
"They seemed really happy by each others' side all night, and if they weren't next to each other, he seemed to go over and check on her quite a bit," an insider told E! News. Taylor Swift was also in attendance, but she kept busy on the dance floor.
Gomez, however, skipped all official after-party festivities, instead opting for a quiet night with a few friends.
Katy and Orlando even wore matching Tamagotchis to the Met Gala just last week. So why did it seem as though neither he nor Selena Gomez could keep their hands to themselves on Friday night?
And why are there so many Katy Perry songs that insert themselves into this scenario? "Waking Up in Vegas"! "Last Friday Night"! And hopefully not the sad ones!
At this point, we're just going to have to remember how appealing it is to cuddle with a good friend—especially the platonic ones, because then you don't have to think!—when it's a late night, and you're tired, and it's just so much easier to kick back with the guy you've known for two years who's totally just your pal and you've always had the nicest things to say about his girlfriend.
Appealing, yes. But also just so much grist for the mill.