NBCGuys. Did you know David Schwimmer is starring in a super dark Friends sequel for AMC?
OK, it's not actually a dark Friends sequel. Nor is it a Friends sequel. Or a sequel at all. Fine, it's a completely new drama unrelated to the NBC comedy that ended over a decade ago. But just stay with us on this one.
Schwimmer, hot off his juicy (get it?) role on The People v. O.J. Simpson, is starring in Feed the Beast on AMC, which premieres next month. While looking at the photos and reading the plot snyposis, we couldn't help but immediately place Ross Geller in this world, and you know what? It kind of fits!
So we're just throwing out this theory that Feed the Beast is actually a gritty Friends sequel. Let's investigate and look at the evidence!*
*Let's totally make all this up and completely ignore the actual facts so we can shoehorn these details into our ridiculous fan theory. For funsies!
Schwimmer plays a widower named Tommy living in New York City, so right off the bat we just assume his wife Rachel passed away suddenly and now Ross has been left to grieve for his lobster. Ross, looking for a fresh start, changes his name and moves to the Bronx to open up a restaurant.
Why a restaurant? Because his sister Monica, who is still a successful chef in New York City, suggest he turn his love of food and wine into a career. Why isn't he a paleontologist anymore? You've seen the theories about how Ross was actually a terrible scientist, right? He probably published a paper that earned him ridicule from the academic community, and he eventually quit the field.
Still with us? Stay with us!
Ross/Tommy wants to open a restaurant with his friend Dion (Jim Sturgess), who looks like he's a chef or at least a passionate home cook based on the promotional material, so we're going to assume Dion was Monica's protégée, and that's how he met Ross.
Look! Here's Emma, who worries about her dad following the death of her mom and puts herself in charge of running the social media pages for RossTommy's new restaurant.
You're probably wondering about Ben, aren't you? Well, let's just say Ben is studying abroad. Yeah, that's it. He'll make an appearance in episode five.
Are you still with us? If not, just stick around for the ridiculousness of all this, OK?
And here's Jack Geller, Ross father, who has just aged horribly.
This woman, also a chef, is the daughter of Monica's longtime pal from the food world.
You met the longtime pal in season one of Friends:
Anyway, Ross/Tommy gives her a job in their new restaurant because of the family connection.
Schwimmer told The Huffington Post that his character is also a hard drinker. Looks like Ross went from social drinking to a full fledged alcoholic. He's been known to drink in stressful situations.
What else would drive him to the bottle than the death of Rachel?
So there you have it. Feed the Beast might as well be called Friends 2: The Return of Red Ross. We now ask that everyone accept this theory as canon. Thank you.