BravoIt's time to come clean with yourselves: You would watch a spinoff of The Real Housewives of New York City starring Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel. You so would.
And then you would play the video game that came along with the spinoff where you're either Carole or Bethenny avoiding people at parties and trying to get out of awkward brunches and unfinished house tours—like Pac-Man, but Luann de Lesseps and John Mahdessian are the ghosts and Skinnygirl cocktails are the pac-dots.
Bethenny's long-talked about (two episodes!) BBQ birthday party (take note, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, this is how you do a BBQ) finally arrived and it was pretty awkward. Bethenny was avoiding John like the plague until she couldn't escape his gaze and decided to take one for the team (team being Dorinda Medley) and chat with him. It didn't go very well. Mainly because he, to quote Lisa Rinna, didn't "own it." He wouldn't apologize for the bra party from hell, because according to Bethenny, he didn't remember accosting her about her business and her lack of love life. After getting into it yet again, Bethenny decided to just ignore everything—and John—for the sake of Dorinda.
At this point, let's take a moment to comment on how amazing Bethenny's house is. OK? OK. And we've gotten to a point where the Skinnygirl product placement doesn't bother me. It's now sort of charming? And there was also a guest appearance by Secrets and Wives' Cori because she knows Bethenny?
Back to the other awkward confrontation: Luann and her hula-hoop arrived and she decided she was doing berating Carole about dating Adam Kenworthy. "It's embarrassing. You're a grown woman. Leave the hula-hoop at home," Carole said in her confessional. As far as prop and gifts go, a hula-hoop is a new one. Maybe John bought the area out of all those GIANT wine bottles. Where did he keep getting those?
Anyway, Luann kept staring at Carole until they finally spoke over a fire pit and marshmallows. Luann refused to apologize to Carole, instead she kept blaming Carole for the interactions. In what world did that happen? Finally they agreed to be nice to each other. "Here's something Luann didn't say to me: I'm sorry, which astounds me, which is a very simple thing to say," Carole said.
The party ended, but the awkwardness continued at Jules Wainstein's schmear brunch. Ramona Singer went back to the city after Bethenny's party, Sonja Morgan was MIA, so the brunch was just Jules, Dorinda, John, Jules' husband, Bethenny, Carole, Luann and some guy Luann brought. "Usually her dates don't stay for breakfast," Carole said. Who can resist a good schmear?
Bethenny and Carole couldn't wait to get out of there. Can you blame them? Between the bees, John, all the bagels and the lack of Skinnygirl products…
Stray thoughts:
Why does Luann say sorry like a Canadian?
John said Bethenny was saying uneducated things. That can't be further from the truth. Jules also called Bethenny Debbie Downer. Has she seen the show before?
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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