Trae Patton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty ImagesAli Vincent, the first woman to win The Biggest Loser, has regained almost all of the 112 pounds she lost on the NBC weight loss show eight years ago.
Now the 41-year-old reality star is on a mission to slim down once more.
Vincent penned a candid Facebook post last week about the anniversary of her Biggest Loser win, in which she revealed she "weighed in close to the weight" she started at on the series.
In 2008, the 5'5" star entered the competition weighing 234 pounds and was down to 122 after it was over. In recent years, it appeared Vincent was maintaining a healthy lifestyle. She documented her continued fitness journey in the reality show, Live Big with Ali Vincent, which aired on ABC's Live Well Network between 2011 and 2014.
But inside, Vincent was struggling.
She said on Facebook that in the years after her win, she had "experienced ultimate highs that I could have never dreamed of as well as nightmares I wouldn't wish on an enemy."
"When I struggle, I shut down, I feel alone, I push people away, I hide, I sleep all day, I eat," she wrote. "I try to feel satisfied and comforted but do nothing to allow true satisfaction or comfort."
"I swore I would never be there again, be here again," she wrote on Facebook. "I couldn't imagine a day again that I would weigh over 200 pounds. I feel ashamed. I feel embarrassed. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like failure."
In a tearful Skype chat shown on a recent episode of Oprah Winfrey's OWN series Where Are They Now?, Vincent recalled reading "comments about how fat I was" after she took part in a Facebook Live chat several months ago. She said she didn't get out of bed" on her Biggest Loser anniversary.
"It was a low point. It was like, probably my lowest point," she said. "I won The Biggest Loser. I was the first female to win The Biggest Loser. Like, I'm Ali Vincent."
Vincent wrote on her page she is "taking action" to drop the pounds. She said she recently joined Weight Watchers. Winfrey, who has long struggled with her weight herself, became a spokesmodel and part owner of the company last year and has lost at least 26 pounds on the diet.
"I'm starting with my daily Shakeology® and 10,000 steps, my Weight Watchers weekly weigh-ins and hosting my 2nd DietBet of the year," Vincent said. "I know how to do this, you know how to do this, let's do it together!"
"For me, it's not about a number this time," she said on Where Are They Now?. "Even though a number is a way for me to track and I do know, at a specific number, how I feel, you know, in that number range. But it is about feeling my best self. Like, I want to be my best self. I want to feel good about myself...I want to love myself at any size and throughout the sizes."
Vincent also suffered another life setback this month: After years of wanting to have children, she underwent IVF treatments—she had eggs harvested and fertilized to become embryos. But her doctor told her they "were not fit to be implanted." At her age, the chances of creating a chromosomally normal embryo with her eggs are less than 50 percent. In addition, fertilization rates are also lower for overweight women, who may also not respond as well to hormone treatments used to boost the growth and quality of eggs during fertility cycles.
"I wanted to disappear, retreat, eat, stuff myself, sleep, not feel," she wrote on Facebook. "Anything but think about the possibility of not ever being able to be a mom. Through this process, I have thought about the years that maybe I gave away. My 30's. But I also know that I wasn't ready until now...But it's hard."
This time, she received a slew of supportive comments. And this week, things started to look up, health-wise.
"Yesterday was my first week weigh in at Weight Watchers & boy was I anxious," she wrote. "I did lose 5lbs this week and that is motivating. However, I know that I can't control the scale so I don't want to give it too much power; I'd rather give the power and strength to myself."
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