HBOKit Harrington won't tell us. George RR Martin won't tell us. The Game of Thrones showrunners won't tell us. Who else are we supposed to turn to when we're desperate for a sliver of information regarding the fate of Jon Snow?
With the premiere of season six mere days away, fans are literally salivating at the thought of finally finding out if Jon Snow died from his multiple stab wounds like we are being heavily led to believe or if he somehow found a way to survive, either by warging or by Melisandre's hand or some other plot device we haven't heard of yet. So people started turning to the only person we go to when we're truly stumped.
Siri.
If you ask the Apple assistant if Jon Snow is alive or dead, she has a couple sassy answers for you, because it wouldn't be a Siri story without some sass.
One response we got was regarding one of the loved ones Jon left behind:
"I don't know. I just hope someone is setting up doggie daycare for Ghost."
Well, that answer implies she thinks Jon Snow is dead, and we think it's very sweet of her to worry about Ghost's well-being. Although, he is a direwolf and we're pretty sure doggy daycare is actually a terrible idea.
And yes, it bugs us too that Siri spells it "John Snow." We can't help that. She should know when we say "John" in context of Game of Thrones, we mean J-O-N.
When we asked her again, she rattles off some quotes about death straight from GoT creator Dan Weiss, Tyrion Lannister and the Drowned God followers:
"'Dead is dead.' Or is it ‘What's dead may never die?' No, wait, ‘Death is so terribly final?' I give up."
There's a couple more answers Siri will give you if you ask about Jon Snow; our personal favorite is when she asks if he can just try an old IT standby:
"I'm not sure. Has he tried restarting? That always seems to work."
So, what did we learn from all this?
YOU KNOW NOTHING, SIRI.